Sometimes your family and extended family can totally surprise you out of nowhere. I was the best man at my brother’s wedding this June, and I brought my partner Rob as my date. Other than my father’s funeral last year, this was really the first event to which I brought him where we needed to interact with my aunts, uncles, and cousins. My Mom, my brother, and my two sisters have known for years that I was gay and they also have gotten to know him very well over the past 3 years. After the funeral ceremonies at my father’s funeral, my one Aunt and Uncle asked me to introduce them to my "friend" – I didn’t have to say I was gay, they just knew, and were really cool with it!
Now at the wedding, thankfully a joyous occasion, we entered the next phase. Even though it was a wedding for my brother, each one of the members of the extended family came up to basically give their blessing to my boyfriend and I. They even hinted that they would be very supportive of us getting married! All this just blew me away. I half expected them to not even know about gay marriage, but the press about it during the elections might have brought it to their attention...or maybe they were just a heck of a lot cooler then I originally thought.
Another Aunt, at my father’s funeral, told my partner that he couldn’t sit in the front rows with us because he was not family - this after Rob had spent many more hours with me at my father’s bedside than she had. At the wedding, she personally asked me to dance, and whispered in my ear that she hopes to see Rob and I get married one of these days. She said she was mad that it couldn’t happen here, but offered that I could always do it in Montreal. I had written her off years ago as being extremely anti-gay, so naturally I was shocked at this change of attitude.
Near the end of the wedding reception, Rob and I thought about doing a slow dance together, but we decided not to cause too much of a spectacle just yet. I promised my mom earlier that day that I wouldn’t do anything drastic like propose, as has become cliché from many gay movies and TV shows. But one day, when the time is right, we’ll go for it – and it’s really good to know that when that time does come, we can count on the love and support of my extended family.
It just goes to prove that when you come out, your friends and family can really surprise you. They might not accept things right away, but if they can see that you are truly happy with your life the way it is, then they will overcome their initial apprehension for their love of you.
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Contributor Steve Polyak |
Locale Calgary |
Topic Publisher's Column |
