Well here it is: 2015, finally and, without a doubt, the craziest holiday season of my life. It was spent amongst family and friends in Canada and the USA across four cities in four action-packed weeks. In one moment, I can remember thinking it would never end, and in another it flew by in a Technicolor blur. After spending every waking moment with my husband and two-year-old son, for nearly a month, to say it was life changing would be an understatement.
It started off like most other holidays for us. My husband has a huge family in Calgary, the second oldest of six, and we all have children now. Most of us had alternate plans this year so we decided to have an early celebration at my mother and father In-law’s home, so the youngest grand kids could open their gifts together. It was really cute and fun and, as I sat back and watched my son push his gifts aside to play in the wrapping paper with his cousins, I couldn’t help but be truly thankful for that moment. I took a snapshot in my head, and one on my phone, to remember it. Little did I know at the time but, in some ways, that moment was the first time I really and truly felt like I have earned the title of ‘daddy’, as he kept looking for my approval to rip open his gifts and play with all the new stuff. It was just the beginning of a magical and memorable holiday to come.
A few days later we departed for the sunny beaches and towns of my home state of Florida. This was the first time we have flown with our son, so like a lot of ‘new’ parents we probably went overboard with snacks, drinks, games, movies, music, stickers, blankets, pillows, stroller and, I’m sure, I’m still missing something. My husband and I were really well traveled before being dads, so we were terrified of being those parents with a screaming child, aloof to the misery of our neighbours. As it turned out, this became a watershed moment for us. He was a perfect angel for the entire 12-hour trip, there and back. In the end, we learned to have more trust in our own parenting skills, and that the wonderful temperament of our son isn’t limited to familiar surroundings. Seeing how polite he is to strangers by saying please, thank you, and excuse me swelled my heart with pride and demonstrated that he is learning what we are trying to teach.
Our first outing was to spend a few days on the gorgeous shores of St. Pete Beach – a place where I spent a good part of my childhood summers swimming, beachcombing for shells, building sand castles and just running around on the seemingly endless sugar sand beach. It was just as I remembered it from my own childhood and gave me great joy as I now viewed it through my son’s eyes. As I watched him do the same things I had so many years ago, it made me acutely aware that we were saying goodbye to baby, and hello to a blossoming little boy full of all the curiosity and wonder that life has to offer.
The first morning there we woke up early, got dressed, and out the door, just the two of us, for some morning adventures, leaving papa to sleep in. After an hour or so on the beach and swimming in the chilly Gulf of Mexico, I thought a nice little soak in the hot tub would feel great. We ended up being the only people there so I took the opportunity to use the small space for some impromptu swimming lessons, and that’s when it happened. After over a year of my baby boy calling me da-da, he said "look daddy", clear as a bell, as he jumped off the side into my waiting arms. I admit it was a strange feeling. On one hand I have wanted him to start speaking more clearly and concisely, but on the other hand I was a little sad that this time had arrived, seemingly with something as simple as how he says one word.
From that moment on, for the rest of our trip, I watched in amazement as my son gained new words, and new confidence, with every new experience. From the Disney theme parks to the beaches of St. Augustine, each passing day had something special to offer and, as sentimental as it sounds, we connected in ways that I didn’t even know were possible. Our trust for each other has solidified into a true father and son bond. I am humbled by the experience and marvel at just how much I still have to learn about the subtleties of parenting.
I really thought I was aware of how fast my little monkey is growing up but, during this special time we just spent together, my eyes really opened to just how fast he’s transitioning from a baby to an independent and well-adjusted little man. Surprisingly, after witnessing such staggering changes in my boy over the past month or so, I’m feeling really emotional and melancholy about it and, frankly, daddy isn’t normally too sentimental about such things. So maybe, gasp, I’m growing too?
All I can really say for sure is never in my wildest cotton pickin’ dreams would I have thought that me – a grown man with a professional reputation for being tough as nails – would cry over such things as throwing out an old sippy cup, donating old clothes, or being called ‘daddy’ for the first time. It has though, and on more than a single occasion I have to admit. Saying bye to baby has been harder than I ever thought it would be, but seeing the sweet, polite, curious and exuberant little man our beautiful boy is becoming makes every bit of emotion worth it.
