With the Christmas holidays fast approaching, the first snows on the ground, and an ever growing list of family obligations to meet before the arrival of 2015, it suddenly has me thinking about how very different our lives are now than they were just a short 19 months ago when our son arrived. The time has flown by so fast that it’s really hard to grasp the gravity of the life altering changes, which have reshaped our household from the foundation up, and given us exciting opportunities to forge new connections with like-minded families.

It is a fascinating world we live in today where, at the click of a mouse, you can access an endless world of information and communities to help new parents with any topic imaginable. We have used so many now that I’m constantly finding sites I had forgotten about and always say I need to get back to but, of course, never do because, if I did, I would never actually spend any time parenting. It has also been my observation that, in large part, nothing can replace actual experience, but having a few ‘go to’ places for advice and support can be a real relief at times too.

Now, more than ever, our community has the ability to reach out, teach its own, and help guide our families through the unique issues we all face sooner or later in a society. Even though we fought for decades to gain equal rights, many are still grappling with what they view as rapid change. The current baby boom in the LGBT community isn’t likely to slow down anytime soon so, if you have kids, or are planning on starting a family, here are some helpful resources.

From the beginning: looking for information about the various ways to start your journey? The LGBTQ Parenting Connection has information about adoption, surrogacy, egg donation, insemination and a wide variety of mental health topics for moms and dads to be. I have used their resource page on several occasions and come back to this site on a regular basis. Here’s the link: http://www.lgbtqparentingconnection.ca/.

Another option you might be considering is foster care. Something you may not know is that the gay community has been a kind of unsung hero to the foster care system in the US, Canada, and Europe for many years now. It can be an inexpensive road to permanent adoption, depending on the local laws where you live, and for those who don’t mind giving up a few weekends or evenings to qualify for your local system, you could be well on your way to creating a permanent family in hardly anytime at all. A friend of mine has written a wealth of information on this topic. Check out Rich Valenza and his foundation called Raise a Child, at https://www.raiseachild.us/.

Here in Alberta, as well as other provinces, in addition to adoption, fostering, or surrogacy there is still another option available to potential parents and that is permanent guardianship of a child. This is actually how my husband and I are going through the process and we have found the Queens Bench Family Court to be fair, easy to access, and really fast too. If you think you might find yourself in this situation here’s the link to the information for guardianship: http://humanservices.alberta.ca/guardianship-trusteeship/child.

Another type of family situation that is unique to our community is that of the recently divorced with kids from a heterosexual marriage. For many, coming out doesn’t happen until later in life. These people often find themselves pariahs not just in their own families, but in both the gay and straight communities. It’s unfair, and can add untold additional stress and anxiety to the already overwhelming experience of coming out. There are many support groups online like Calgary Outlink at http://www.calgaryoutlink.ca/ and, for Calgary men in particular, a local group has monthly meetings and a help line you can access at http://www.calgarygayfathers.ca.

Finally, if you’re serious about starting a family, what’s stopping you? These days all you need is the love for a child, a willingness to take them in, and a little bit of determination. With all the resources and tools available to anyone who takes the time to research them, starting your family could be right around the corner and easier than you thought. It just takes our village... people.