It has been a glorious summer to be a new dad, and we have had many firsts to add to our son’s ever growing list. His first complete sentence, first time swimming in a lake, first big boy ice cream cone, first time climbing stairs alone, and, in just a couple weeks, the first time at a Pride Parade.

I have mentioned our plan to take our son to the parade to a few people and have been surprised at the reactions I have received. They have ranged from passing interest to sheer horror. One coworker in particular, who is also gay, even remarked that ‘Pride is nothing but a reason to celebrate every sexual fetish out there’, and it got me thinking, is he right? It may be true, to some degree, at events in San Francisco, New York, or Montreal, but there are a growing number of cities with Pride events which have acknowledged the current baby boom in our community and are making changes to include our new families. Calgary, it seems, is one of those places.

After doing some research I discovered that the Pride Calgary Parade and Festival promotes itself as a family-friendly event. They have a stringent approval process for all parade entries, a dress code that falls in line with city ordinances, and there is even a plan to have a children’s play area at the festival grounds at Shaw Millennium Park after the parade. This is a huge step forward, and indicates that our community is evolving right before our eyes, but we should also remember why we celebrate too.

In my mind the parade, and related events, are the one time a year we get to celebrate the fact that in some very profound ways we are different from mainstream society, and embrace those differences loud and proud. I want my son to learn, from the start, that people come in all shapes and sizes and deserve respect and kindness. After all, isn’t that what Pride is all about in the first place? Acceptance, tolerance, and love?

It is also a time to remember the historical reasons we, as a community, started marching in the first place:

We honour the memory of the patrons of the Stonewall Inn, an underground bar in New York, popular with Drag Queens of the day, where, after customers had been brutally harassed by the police for the millionth time, they rioted for several days in June of 1969, suffering terrible injuries at the hands of the police. It is widely regarded as the seminal moment that ignited the fight for equal rights for the LGBT community. Because of their courage to stand up to oppression we can now walk down the streets and show our true numbers for the world to see. So, when you see a Drag Queen in the parade, thank her for taking the fight to the streets.

We honour the victims of the Upstairs Lounge fire in the French Quarter of New Orleans where 32 gay men were murdered by arson on June 24th, 1973 as they celebrated the final day of Pride Weekend. It remains the largest mass murder of gays in North America. At the time the customers were mostly from the local Metropolitan Community Church and were discussing a fundraiser for disabled kids at the local Children’s Hospital. Firefighters stationed just two blocks away were blocked by unknown cars and were unable to leave the station until one driver tried to go down the sidewalk, only to smash into a taxi that pulled in front of him. By the time they arrived at the scene the building was completely engulfed and hope for any survivors was lost. The murderers were never caught.

We honour the memory of Laramie, Wyoming college student Matthew Shepard. Brutally attacked on the night of October 6th, 1998 at the age of 21, he was robbed, tied to a fence, beaten senseless, and left for dead. He never regained consciousness and died six days later in a hospital bed, another victim of a hate crime. In the media circus that followed, anti-gay opponents and religious rights activists used the incident to attack the gay community, creating such fear among local residents that Matthew Shepard’s own father wore a bullet proof vest to speak at his son’s funeral. Sweeping hate crimes legislation was passed in both the United States and Canada following his death. Two men were convicted and handed multiple life sentences for the kidnapping and murder and remain in prison to this day.

Take a moment to remember the millions around the globe who have died from AIDS as we continue to do valuable research in the quest to find a cure. We also remember the countless young men and women who lost their battles to come to terms with themselves and took their own lives as a result.

And the list goes on and on. From Draconian laws currently being passed in Africa and the Middle East condemning gays to death by stoning, to the torture, imprisonment, and murder of our gay brothers and sisters in countries like Russia, Brunei, and Iran. We must continue to fight for all LGBT peoples’ right to exist around the world.

So this year if someone asks you, ‘why are there still gay Pride parades?’ tell them that as long as LGBT rights are being taken away anywhere in the world, gay kids are being bullied in school and at church, or religious zealots attack us and our families, then we will continue to stand up for ourselves and march for those who can no longer march with us.

Brothers and sisters be proud, not prejudiced, of our colourful community. Of the lawyers, doctors, writers, and police officers. The hairdressers, interior designers, engineers, and landscapers. The fabulous drag Queens and Kings, butch girls and fem boys. Leather daddies and country lads. PTA moms and bears with their cubs. We have much to be proud of and I, for one, can’t wait for my son to experience it all. Embrace your gay family folks and come out and show your pride this year.

I love to hear from you... send me your comments and questions at parentingproud@gmail.com.