A major ‘ex-gay’ organization, which spent years claiming to ‘cure’ homosexuals through prayer and counseling, has announced it was in error, issued a public apology to the LGBTQ community, and ceased operations.
Exodus International, which promoted what it referred to as ‘reparative therapy’, commonly known as ‘change ministries’, served as the parent organization to over 260 independent but affiliated ministries worldwide, all of which maintain an evangelical view that homosexuality is a sin and an aberration. The closing of Exodus International and the views now put forward by its president, Alan Chambers, will not necessarily reflect the views or approaches held by affiliate ministries.
As Jeff Chu, and ex-ex-gay author and journalist, recently pointed out in an interview on PBS’ NewsHour, Exodus International is only the figurehead of the ministries, and so it’s closing is "largely symbolic".
"The significance is not so much in practice, because those ministries are still going, the therapies are still continuing, but Exodus, the figurehead, is what’s gone," he said.
However, he also believes the move heralds an important shift and opens the way to "important debate."
"There has been an incredible amount of suffering [amongst those who sought to change their orientation]. I think we can start to have conversations because of what’s happened with Exodus, where we look at whether there is a better way to handle this, even if you are theologically conservative."
In an unprecedented move, Chambers met with several gay and lesbian former members of Exodus International, read a lengthy letter of apology acknowledging the pain he had personally caused, and how their voices and experiences had been "largely ignored in the conversation."
"...No one sits and listens to you on our side and I want to do that...to erase sides when it comes to things that have transpired and to find ways to heal, to move forward, and shut the door on experiences and things you all have walked through and open a new door and see if we can do something better than we have done before," he said in the session taped for the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) and part of a continuing series called "Our America: God and Gays" hosted by Lisa Ling.
"Recently, I began thinking of how to apologize to the people who have been hurt by Exodus International through an experience or by a message. I have heard many first-hand stories by people called ‘ex-gay survivors’, stories of people who went to Exodus-affiliated ministries or ministers for help only to experience more trauma. I’ve heard stories of shame, sexual misconduct, and false hope," he said, reading from a prepared statement.
"In every case that has been brought to my attention throughout my leadership, there has been swift action in the removal of these leaders or their organizations, but rarely was there an apology or public acknowledgement by me," he said even as some within the group clearly took issue around the alleged removal of those leaders.
However, what was perhaps the most significant aspect of this was Chambers’ acknowledgment of the trauma he personally caused. He also acknowledged his own struggles with same-sex attraction and how he "conveniently omitted" his struggles from any dealings he had publicly.
"I was afraid to share them as easily and readily as I do so today. They brought me tremendous shame and I hid them, hoping they would go away.... Today, however, I accept them as something that has and always will be with me.... Never in a million years would I intentionally hurt another person, yet here I sit having hurt many by failing to acknowledge the pain people affiliated with Exodus experienced and by failing to share the whole truth about my own story. My good intentions matter very little and fail to diminish the pain and hurt that others have experienced on my watch.... I can’t simply move on and pretend I was always the friend I long to be today; to do so would be an even greater violation and truly fraudulent. I understand why I’m distrusted and why Exodus is hated," he said.
He then went through a list of apologies, being clear that he was not asking for forgiveness but, rather, finally doing what was the right thing to do and that was take responsibility for the devastation he and his organization caused over the years. Perhaps one of the most poignant apologies was saying he was sorry that, when he celebrated a person coming to Christ and surrendering their sexuality to Him, he also "callously celebrated" the heart-wrenching end of relationships.
He went on to say that while he would not apologize for his own views on what Scripture says about sex and sexuality and his own beliefs around marriage and sexuality, he also could no longer fight others on their beliefs or the rights they seek. He added it was his hope everyone would discover empathy and choose to "respect each other in the midst of disagreement."
He concluded his apology by saying "You haven’t ever been my enemy and I am sorry that I have been yours. I hope the changes I have sought to make at Exodus and continue to make, and in my own life, along with this letter and future actions, will bring you some resolution and show that I am serious both in my regret and offer of friendship."
He reaffirmed Exodus would continue as a place to be for people with biblical convictions about "how to be faithful to God in the midst of their sexual reality", but stated it would immediately "cease to be an ex-gay organization" and would now stand, whenever possible, alongside gay and lesbian people as he believed Christ would.
The closing of Exodus, and Chambers’ sincere public apology, may herald a tectonic shift in the worldview, and approach, of many Evangelical and fundamentalist Christian organizations; a worldview he now acknowledges was "neither honouring toward...fellow human beings, nor biblical" in its views. An amazing admission.
The organization has been rocked in recent years by several high-profile executives coming out as still gay or lesbian and leaving the organization. Stories of meetings being prime ‘pick up’ opportunities were rife, as were the stories of gay men and lesbians who went public about the abuse and trauma they suffered at the hands of Exodus ministers. Through it all, the organization, and Chambers, refused comment and continued to carry on as if their ‘reparative therapy’ worked. For Chambers to now publicly acknowledge what a dismal failure such snake oil philosophies were, is incredible.
When I coordinated Gay Lines Calgary in the 1990s, it was not uncommon for those involved with the local affiliate, Homosexuals Anonymous, or with various conservative churches, to phone in, desperate and terrified.
Many of them were what could only be described as the ‘walking wounded.’ They felt trapped between their innate orientation and their continuing desire to be part of their faith community; a community that openly condemned them, but from which they were unable to divorce themselves.
Many of them perceived their need and desire to be with another man or another woman as ‘weak’, even ‘evil’. The concept that perhaps it was the church which was wrong was invariably rejected outright. A common refrain I heard over and over again was ‘but it says in the Bible...’.
The conversations, which could last for over an hour or more, became circuitous with the callers constantly falling back on what their minister or counselor had told them the Bible said, or what the usual verses used to condemn homosexuality "really" meant. That was who had authority in their lives, and that was who they clung to, even as the evidence mounted against what had been drilled into them. They simply could not take that one step across the line.
I used to liken it to standing on the edge of a diving board looking down into the water below and knowing it would probably be okay, that the water would be cool and pleasant, yet one couldn’t bring oneself to push off against the edge of the board and just make that dive. The fear was paralyzing and worse, in many ways, than the stress and confusion they were going through. At least that was familiar.
Some, of course, did take that leap. Those are the success stories. Others never could. Still others chose to take a leap of a different kind and are lost to us and their loved ones forever...all because organizations like Exodus and other so-called ‘change ministries’ were so smug and sanctimonious that they couldn’t see the harm they were (and are) inflicting - or their own culpability in another human being’s suicide.
Chambers appears to understand that, although he made no mention of those lost. We can only hope his public acknowledgment and the closing of Exodus’ doors will promote some soul-searching amongst all faith communities, not just Christian ones.
G-d willing....