It has become more common and accepted for those in entertainment to come out of the closet. In the case of Sean Maher, he was already out when Hollywood pushed him into the closet. For almost 15 years he hid his sexuality, until September of 2011 when he came out to Entertainment Weekly.

"It was a couple of years in the making. I had met my partner, we decided to have kids, I took 2 years off to be a stay at home dad and it was the most wonderful time for me. Coming back to work I was having trouble finding my way, I had all this new stuff percolating from being a dad. I felt like a new man and kept wondering was there a bigger picture for me in the industry," Maher explained. "It dawned on me after so many years of being in the closet because publicists, managers and agents told me to be, which is no one’s fault but my own for listening to them. For years and years of the fear and the suffering that I endured, it dawned on me that all of that time could be my greatest gift. I had this aha moment where if I could come out publicly and maybe help one person it would be worth it. I had talked to my partner about it and we were waiting for the time to be right."

GayCalgary Magazine chatted with Maher from Los Angeles, where he balances his acting career with spending time with his partner Paul and their two children Sophia and Liam. He will be appearing at the Edmonton Expo, October 20th and 21st. It was his daughter, along with playing a closeted gay man in the short lived NBC series The Playboy Club that made the time right.

"When my daughter was around three years old she was starting to understand what I did for work. I wanted to be a great role model and show her there was no shame in our family and it was quite beautiful. I couldn’t imagine explaining to her that there was something about our family that I had to hide for the sake of my career. I did it for my family. I was doing The Playboy Club and the character was perfect for me to step forward and tell the story. I’ve never been happier with a professional decision ever."

Had Maher come out when he was younger it may have been a major story. In the past few years entertainers like Zachary Quinto (Star Trek, American Horror Story, Heroes), Jim Parson’s (Big Bang Theory) as well as CNN’s Anderson Cooper have all nonchalantly come out. The general reaction has been positive if not a big deal.

"It is a good point. I don’t know what would have happened had I stayed strong to what I believe. I graduated college a very comfortable openly gay man – my parents and family and friends knew, I was living with somebody at the time in a comfortable life as a gay man, I didn’t understand bigotry yet I hadn’t faced it. The first job I got I was thrust into Hollywood as the lead of a new show, he was a young rookie cop and there was pressure to create more smoke and mirrors than I had ever assumed I would be expected  to do. I wonder what would have happened if I had said no I’m not going to do this, I’m gay, I am not going to pretend I am not for the sake of the show. I don’t know what the fate of that show would have been, it was canceled really quickly anyway for other reasons. My coming out in 2011 was so well received and I was floored by the response. The day I came out I was in Chicago, I was not with my family and that is the one thing I regret. I was sitting alone in my hotel room and the tweets were just coming in like 150 each time I refreshed. It was amazing to feel this love and support which I knew I would receive, but it blew me away. I feel like they have my back no matter what route I take in my career. I knew the fans would welcome me with open arms and I am sure that some already knew but what shocked me was the amount of industry people – studio heads, casting directors, people within the industry who reached out to my manager to say please relay to Sean we have always been a fan of his work, we’re so proud of him, what a brave move, this will only make us fight harder for him. That is something I didn’t expect and speaks volumes to how things have shifted in the last 15 years or so. I do think we have a lot more work to do but it is a different world."

Although coming out is becoming more and more accepted, there is still a lot of work to do. Several states in the US have initiatives on the ballot this November to ban same-sex marriage. Maher hopes that in being the "ideal" of a loving family with 2 kids and 2 cats, that just happens to have 2 dads it will help change minds.

"Prior to my coming out when I would sit down with my publicist, my manager, my partner I said if at the very least I could be an example of what a ‘non-traditional’ family could be, I would be honored. That was my strategy with my publicist as well her father is married to a man. We were trying to shed this light that there are all these stereotypes of what the gay lifestyle is, how different it is. What I was trying to say by stepping forward and shining some light on my family was that I am not that different. We have 2 beautiful children, a very domesticated lifestyle, are very hands on parents and are no different then a family in Michigan who have a husband and wife and multiple children. There is not much difference so why is there so much fear that my lifestyle is threatening to somebody. I wanted to present it as something that isn’t different. It is a family full of love, that does the best we can for our children and are trying to find our way in the world."

He looks to his own family for an example of how seeing firsthand can change someone’s thoughts on gay relationships.

"My father is an Irish roman-catholic who goes to church every day. He is a wonderful simple man and had a really tough time when I came out to him. When he met my partner and came to see my home in Los Angeles and his two grandchildren that is all it took for him, he needed to see what kind of life I could create for myself. He thought if I was gay I would be miserable or alone or I don’t know what. But he took such a liking to my partner and his grandchildren he can’t get enough of. It was just a matter of exposure."

Maher has had many roles on TV including Party of Five, CSI: Miami and Wedding Wars. He is most famous for his role as Simon Tam on Firefly, and many fans will be in Edmonton to meet him based on the show. Those same fans will be lining up to meet Charisma Carpenter, who played Cordelia Chase on Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel. It speaks to the magic of creator Joss Whedon that a decade later both are so known and loved for characters created in his universe.

"He has been such a huge part of my career. I never thought ten years ago when I met him that I would still be talking about Firefly, which is insane and humbling and overwhelming. It really is something very special to be part of. I love that he thinks of me for other projects, he is a great friend and mentor and one of the most accessible people I have worked with in this industry. He has such a knack for storytelling, he favours the original storytellers like Shakespeare and there are certain dynamics that are universal. He creates these characters, especially for women that are so relate-able, specifically with Firefly. There was such a universal aspect with the dynamic within the characters and that is why it resonated so strongly."

It is remarkable that a show lasting only 14 episodes before being canceled by Fox, has such a cult following that continues to this day.

"I used to refer to it as the little show that could, all the time. There are two sides to that, people ask me if I am surprised? Of course I am, it doesn’t usually happen that a show that didn’t even get a full season is so celebrated 10 years later but at the same time it was something so special, I get why people love it so much, because we loved it while we were doing it. Coming from being an actor, you are in this bubble when you are creating a show that hasn’t hit the air yet. Here you are with these people creating this world and telling these stories and unfortunately sometimes the ratings don’t work, the show gets canceled and everyone moves on. It was a little bit different with Firefly, it burned harder when it was canceled. We all loved coming to work, all the actors, everything that was being written and playing in the world that Joss created. After we wrapped we would continue to spend time together. So I see why people are drawn to it because they connected to the authentic connection we had off screen that was coming across on screen. So I am surprised, humbled, overwhelmed but I understand why."

The filming of Serenity wrapped up some story lines, killed off some beloved characters, and gave some closure to the cast and crew.

"Being on shows that had been canceled there was always talk of this isn’t the end, we are going to shop it around. Joss was saying that and it wasn’t that I didn’t trust him but I’d heard it before. There was all this talk about a movie, we were all doing our own thing and I was at Joss’ house with Summer (Glau) and he said he was heading off to Cape Cod to write the script for the movie. I was shocked, but it didn’t sink in until the first table read. Some of the actors hadn’t seen each other, so to sit down and hear these wonderful actors that I loved tremendously speak the words of these characters that I missed so desperately and loved, was a wonderful phenomenon of coming together again to recreate something that had been snatched from us. It brought closure but I would be lying if I didn’t wish for a second or third movie."

Maher and Whedon reunite in A Midsummer Nights Dream which was filmed over 12 days at Whedon’s home. The film is expected to be released next year.

"It just speaks volumes to what Joss Whedon is capable of. He was going to go on a family vacation in Italy and decided instead to make a movie. I was filming a series in Chicago at the time and got an E-mail at 1:00 in the morning in my hotel room, saying that he was doing this and needed a sexy villain, what sayeth you? So I scrambled and my manager worked it out so I could head back to LA to shoot this movie. He did throw it together and he hand picked everybody so everyone wanted to be there and it was a passion project for Joss. It was such an extraordinary project to be a part of. It was a 12 day shoot but we had a ton of rehearsal to figure the scene out for as long as it took to get comfortable. When we were going to shoot it we only had one or two takes because there was little room for error. It was a terrifying experience because I had never done Shakespeare before and it was for Joss so I wanted to do right by Joss. It was truly one of the most exhilarating experience I have had, he was shooting live theatre. Everybody stepped up to the plate in such a magnificent way, it lifted the energy.  He had come right off of Avengers, did Much Ado and went right back to editing The Avengers.

Whether a Firefly fan, someone who appreciates him coming out, or a fan from other shows he has appeared in, Sean is excited to be part of the Edmonton Comic and Entertainment Expo.

"I am thrilled, I just found out a couple of weeks ago they wanted me to come. I’ve never been to Edmonton so I am excited. Sometimes I am moved to tears meeting people. I don’t have a lot of time with them, but I will make them stay if it is a coming out story and I inspired them to take that step I want them to share every step with me. It is extraordinary to meet people and it reinforces that coming out was one of the best decisions of my life. People are always like, I am sorry to bother you... are you kidding? Whenever someone recognizes me they are so apologetic but it means so much to me when people stop and tell me things. I can speak on behalf of the entire cast of Firefly that if there is a browncoat out there and they see us, say hi. I will see a tweet saying I saw Sean Maher in a coffee shop, fan girl went crazy and I am like, why in the world didn’t you say hello? We loved what we were doing and how strongly it resonated. I love it, I really do."

Related Articles

Contributor Jason Clevett |

Person Sean Maher |

Topic Edmonton Expo | Celebrity Interview | Comic Expo | Firefly |