Hello everyone, are you enjoying your officially sanctioned Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month? Having a gay old time ruining life for straight people everywhere, especially the traditionally married ones?

Because Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council is very Pride-curious. He’s got some ideas about Pride that are bound to disappoint him once he realizes they are wildly inaccurate, but you’ve got to let a man have his fantasies, right?

As Right Wing Watch reported, Perkins took to the anti-gay radio airwaves earlier this month (and there certainly seem to be no shortage of anti-gay radio shows) to wax polemic about the scourge that is a bunch of gays in a parade.

In no short order he equated being gay with being an adulterer and an alcoholic.

"The month of June is Gay Pride Month. Now, I have not yet seen where they have declared Adultery Pride Month, I have not seen where they have declared the Drunkenness Pride Month. Here’s the issue," Perkins said, "it’s not a matter of whether or not someone can do what they want to do with their lives, God gave Adam and Eve a choice, but that’s not what we’re talking about here."

He’s right, of course. God did give Adam and Eve a choice about whether or not they wanted to march in the official Garden of Eden Pride Parade, but they were talked out of it by a homophobic snake. And we all know how that story ends.

Being gay is, of course, very different from being an adulterer or an alcoholic. To Perkins sin is sin is sin, but many rational people would argue that being gay is not a sin or a choice. And while there isn’t an Adultery Pride Month, there is an Adultery Pride Parade that happens year round. It’s called Congress.

So if Pride isn’t about Adam and Eve, what is it about and why does it have Perkins so hot under the collar? "We’re talking about redefining the rest of culture and making others both embrace, celebrate and subsidize. We’re talking about changing the laws that will influence what our children are taught in schools," he lamented. "We’re talking about religious organizations losing their religious freedom."

Ah, yes. The Great Gay Takeover. Where homos invade all aspects of life and make it fabulous.

I am tired of the whole "religious freedom" argument. Folks like Perkins love to cry that the sky is falling when, really, lawmakers often bend over backwards to give religious organizations exemptions so that they don’t have to make nice-nice with the gays. But to Perkins, "religious freedom" means an unfettered right to discriminate. Religious orgs have so much unchecked political power and we’ve seen repeatedly that power wielded against gay and lesbian families.

Perhaps the best part of Perkins’s radio address was when he played Mr. Innocent and acted like his livelihood doesn’t depend on being publicly and virulently anti-gay.

"We never asked for this debate, I entered into public office workings on marriage policies to promote marriage but it was the homosexual community that wanted to have this discussion on redefining marriage," he said with a presumably straight face.

Ah, yes, poor Perkins, forced into demonizing the evil gays every chance he gets. It’s brazen claims like this that remind us that while June may be Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month, every month is anti-gay pride month, because these people have no shame.