Parents & Friends of Lesbians And Gays is a national non-profit organization, founded by parents who wished to help themselves and their family members understand and accept their non-heterosexual children. Started back in 1972 in the United States, a Toronto PFLAG chapter was born in 1985 out of another former support group, and in the past 21 years chapters have sprouted up all across Canada.

At one time Calgary also had a PFLAG chapter, however the organization had petered out in the last 6 years. Beyond the support side of things, members of the organization took on matters of advocacy, and relying on volunteers to make the time commitment to fill these dual roles stretched the resources of PFLAG Calgary at the time. However on September 22nd, 2006 the chapter formally relaunched.

”We reactivated PFLAG based on demand and need,” media relations manager Brian Singh told GayCalgary.com. “Calgary is now over a million people and growing more cosmopolitan by the day. However, anything related to GLBTT issues has traditionally been managed through the Gay and Lesbian Community Services Association and AIDS Calgary. We recognized that there was need for complementary services for this community. Furthermore, GLBTT issues are diversity issues, and GALA felt that there was a substantive need to support and address these issues in Calgary.”

While to many, coming out in 2006 seems a much easier prospect than it had been in the past, there is still a need for understanding that PFLAG hopes to help promote.

”Acceptance is environment dependent. While some families have found it easier, the majority still face many challenges. They still grapple with matters of religious beliefs, cultural norms - for example, among immigrants - and homophobia,” said Singh. “One of the key aspects of environment is our political environment. When you have politicians such as former Premier Ralph Klein stating that he is willing to deny rights to gays and lesbians, and Stephen Harper looking to open up the debate in hope to remove the right of marriage to same sex couples, it substantiates negative sentiments toward the community. If you look at the recent race for Premier, you have to observe the level of support for Ted Morton, and the statement that ‘tolerance is a two-way street’, to realize that there is a substantive opposition to the rights for and acceptance of the GLBTT community. In starting up PFLAG Calgary, we have even faced opposition for support from Mayor Bronconnier’s Office. In Calgary, as well as Alberta, we still wonder why we face these problems because the rights of the GLBTT community are basic human rights. With this in context, we have found our discussions with families and individuals newly coming out very positive. Our forum provides for open dialogue and a solid record in peer support. In addition to our formal sessions, we have found that attendees stay around and chat, where they have had the opportunity to bond with others going through similar processes.”

Singh clarified what PFLAG does and what you could expect if you attended a meeting. He also gave us an idea of how their meetings have gone so far.

”At PFLAG, we don’t do any counseling. It is a peer support group - we allow people to tell their stories – [it is] done by the community for the community. We provide the opportunity for individuals to share their experiences, and there is plenty of just plain old-fashioned listening. No one is ever forced to speak, and the environment is completely anonymous if this is what people are seeking. We recognize that it take a lot of courage for some people to even commit to attend and walk through the door. We are completely non-judgmental and have created a relaxing environment to make attendees as comfortable as possible. Generally, our meetings are free flowing – we discuss what attendees’ challenges and victories have been since we last met, and chat about specific issues should they arise. If there is a need for counseling or additional support, attendees are referred to resources that are identified within the group. We also use the group to identify the direction for subsequent meetings beyond peer support. We have noted that education and information are key motivators to attend PFLAG meetings. Over our first three meetings we have had excellent guest speakers such as Dr. Kevin Alderson of the U of C and Tyler Stoutenburg, Diversity Leader for the Calgary Police Service. We also provide support via telephone, email and in person between groups. We have assisted, supported and educated persons and families from 14 to 60 years old thus far in Calgary. We have received a lot of interest from surrounding committees and towns in southern Alberta. We have encountered every diversity of persons including straight people, which is wonderfully refreshing to know that support is out there. We have single moms, married couples, entire families and individuals who seek the PFLAG group.”

While the new chapter is still in its infancy, Singh and founder Jayme Harper have big plans as the group continues to find its place within Calgary.

”With our reintroduction, our plans are simple. We want to be here and to stay here and keep supporting the community. We intend on delivering support to the community by the community. We are reasonably well resourced, although we can always do with more!. We have a motivated team and will continue to build on our outreach efforts with our parent group GALA Calgary.”

PFLAG Calgary

Meetings are held the last Saturday of each month.

PFI Research INC

Suite 500, 703 6th Ave SW

Calgary AB

(403) 234-0445 ext 801