Soleiha B. Mahrcell has been a Marriage Commissioner in the province of Alberta since August 2004, but served as an assistant to well-known Calgary personality and marriage commissioner, Nomi Whelan, for ten years prior to obtaining her license.

“Nomi was the individual who created the qualifications currently used by Vital Statistics Alberta to authorize marriage commissioners,” says Mahrcell. “Previously, anybody could be a marriage commissioner regardless of experience or background, and that created all sorts of problems around the legality of some of those marriages.”

“At one time, the province would issue a special dispensation to people, allowing them to officiate at a friend’s wedding, for instance. The problem was sometimes the necessary paperwork wouldn’t get done, or one of the people getting married was married to someone else, rendering the ’new‘ marriage null and void, or the couple would be married on a lark…not a good way to start a life together,” comments Mahrcell. “Nomi’s work around standardizing the requirements and qualifications changed all that.”

Mahrcell points out that in Canada, non-cleric (i.e. non-religious) marriage officials are known as ‘marriage commissioners.’

“Judges in Canada do not marry people, unless there is a special dispensation. The term ’Justice of the Peace’ is an American term; in Canada, we have marriage commissioners.”

There is also a distinction between what a marriage commissioner does and what a cleric or religious leader does.

“In terms of ceremony, what a marriage commissioner does is strictly civil. As a marriage commissioner, I cannot use religious terminology or conduct a religious service although, and this gets a bit muddy, I can infuse a ceremony with spirituality if the couple so desire. I can talk about spirit, a coming together of two spirits into one, that sort of thing. I can’t talk about God or use religiously-tinged language like ’What God has joined together, let no man put asunder,’” explains Mahrcell. “It is the government which makes the distinction between what is ‘religious marriage’ and what is ‘civil marriage’ and as someone licensed by the province to conduct civil marriages, I have to abide by that.”

Mahrcell sees no distinction between same-sex marriage and opposite-sex marriage.

“I believe love has no form. We fall in love with whom ever we fall in love with. It’s all love. Marriage is about not ’what‘ you marry…a man, a woman, another woman, or another man…but about establishing a commitment to the person you love. To be a part of that is truly an honour.”

Since receiving her license, Mahrcell has conducted approximately 80 wedding ceremonies, with ten of those being same-sex marriages she has conducted since C-38 became law in the summer of 2005.

“I, of course, enjoy all the ceremonies I’ve conducted,” says Mahrcell, “but somehow the same-sex ones allow me greater creativity when I’m writing the ceremony. Maybe it’s to do with this all being new territory. There are no expectations of what the ceremony ‘should’ look and sound like. It’s as if we all have this wonderful opportunity to truly celebrate that which was once not possible to celebrate.”

Being a marriage commissioner is not yet a full-time job for most commissioners, certainly not for Mahrcell.

“I would love that, I really would,” she sighs. “I would enjoy expanding into other areas like baby naming, renewal of vows, even what I call Rights of Passage, officiating at the service of someone who has died, to conduct not a funeral but a Celebration of Life.”

This idea of a Celebration of Life soon led into a discussion of how same-sex marriage might eventually change the face of weddings.

In the early days of the AIDS crisis, the gay men’s community in North America helped funerals, which focus on grief and loss, evolve into celebrations of a life with their emphasis on special moments, remembering the good times, and sharing experiences of the deceased. Those memorials introduced the then largely unheard of tradition of playing the deceased’s favourite music rather than mournful hymns. The memorials were often highly secular, due in no small part to the alienation many gay men experienced from their respective faith groups. The services were as marked by tears of laughter as they were by tears of mourning.

“Absolutely,” says Mahrcell, “As same-sex marriages become more common, I do think gay and lesbian couples will imprint their own ‘take’ on the ceremony which will be, in turn, adopted by heterosexual couples. There is a place -- and certainly always will be -- for the traditional church wedding but, increasingly, people are opting for casual ceremonies on the beach in Hawaii or something similar. Same-sex wedding ceremonies, at least the ones I have conducted, are more relaxed, more tailored to the individuals.”

As noted by critics of equal marriage, there has hardly been a “rush for the altar” amongst same-sex couples. To date, approximately 3,000 couples have been married in Canada.

“I think there will be spurts” when it comes to getting married, says Mahrcell. “I recently married a gay couple who had been together for 21 years already. They decided to marry now because they were concerned about what Stephen Harper might do [in regards to equal marriage]. Another couple I recently officiated for has been together for five years and, for them, it was just time to get married.”

Asked if she had concerns about what Harper and the Conservative Party might do around the possible repealing of C-38, Mahrcell declined comment.

“I can’t answer that as a marriage commissioner. We are directed not to talk about government policy. As a marriage commissioner, I have to comply with federal marriage legislation, even though the provincial government licenses me. It is the federal government who decides the capacity for marriage and it is the provinces that decide how that is carried out.”

In the weeks surrounding the passage of C-38, Canadians heard a lot about marriage commissioners across Canada reacting against the Bill, claiming their religious and social beliefs would be compromised if they were “forced” to marry couples they believed should not marry.

“That’s a difficult issue,” says Mahrcell. “If those performing marriages are involved with a religious aspect, then fine, I understand the concern. However, we are distinct from religious clerics; we conduct a civil ceremony. One’s religious or spiritual beliefs should not interfere with the legal requirement to fulfill the law of the land.”

There are currently between thirty and thirty-five licensed marriage commissioners in the Calgary area.

“Of those, I don’t know how many are pro-equal marriage and how many are pro-traditional marriage. Solsourced is certainly in favour of equal marriage and are delighted it is now possible. However, I know of one woman who eventually found us who called around and had one sweet-sounding lady tell her, ’Oh…we don’t do that, dear‘ and hung up,” laughs Mahrcell.

Requirements for those contemplating marriage are minimal.

“Both have to be over 18-years of age, of course, with two witnesses, also over the age of 18 and have obtained a marriage license from a registry office,” says Mahrcell. “It is no longer required to obtain a blood test, although I think it is a good idea for couples to do, just so they are fully aware of things like health status, any genetic issues, stuff like that.”

Residency requirements vary from province to province. In Alberta, one partner has to be a resident. Solsourced charges $300.00, slightly higher if the couple wants Nomi Whelan to officiate..

”How far do I go in the competition? You are just going to have to watch to see what happens.”

Solsourced Weddings
Soleiha B. Mahrcell
(403) 270-9480
sol@soulsourcedweddings.com
www.solsourcedweddings.com