Methamphetamine is a potent form of the drug speed. If abused, this breed of drug inflicts severe damage on the cardiovascular and central nervous systems, impairing the functioning of the heart, brain and spinal cord. Various forms have been around for over 100 years, but the illegal drug has become a problem that is spreading throughout the world, and especially the gay community.
The UK’s Gary Leigh, who runs the website LifeorMeth.com, sat up and took notice when, during business trips to the States from the mid-1990s onwards, it was becoming increasing apparent that the mood on the gay party scene was changing. One by one Leigh’s friends become distant or lost touch. Leigh was naïve as to what was going on until late 2000.
“I was at one particular party in New York where the mood was so aggressive, everyone was scowling and preying on each other, their egos in overdrive. It all kind of clicked, like an epiphany. I imagined this is what hell must be like - where people are completely detached from their feelings and are just out for what they can take from everyone else with no consideration given to the consequences of their actions. It horrified me as much to see this disease spreading as for the fact that nobody was speaking out against it; the US gay community seemed to be allowing it to happen, as if it was preordained on some subconscious level. There was such an overwhelming sense of denial as to what was going on, so I set out to expose crystal meth, de glamorize it and wake gay America up, as well as to warn Europe ahead of meth’s large scale arrival there.”
Some felt he was crazy, but Leigh sold his business and home and spent the year of 2001 living in New York with a friend who was a crystal addict to learn what he could about the drug and its impact.
“He was literally holed up in his bedroom 24 hours a day chained to his computer with his meth pipe, and with an endless procession of men of all descriptions coming and going. That in itself was an education, but I really needed to get under the skin of the meth culture too and so during that year I did the circuit parties and sauna scenes in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Palm Springs, Miami and New York - basically everything a party boy does short of succumbing to crystal myself. I’m an empathic person by nature, so by the end of my stay I had a vivid insight and feel of what this thing was about, even if I did feel like an outsider looking in.”
Prior to departing, Leigh tried to warn gay men’s health and AIDS organizations about the emerging threat. His warnings fell on deaf ears.
”None of them were interested in using even a portion of their funding towards meth awareness and prevention campaigns. You had young men arriving fresh to the scene entering some dance clubs where crystal meth was easily available and having no access to information from which to make an informed choice whether or not to use. How many young lives has our community subsequently destroyed through such apathy and indifference? Even trying to convince these organizations of the likely correlation between meth abuse and unsafe sex was like shouting into a black hole; I had no tangible proof, just anecdotal evidence, therefore they were not interested, period. Their inaction served to harden my resolve to get the message out.”
In November of 2002, LifeorMeth.com was launched as a way to tell the world of the dangers of meth abuse. Featuring straightforward information, graphic images of meth abusers before and after their lives were altered and heart-wrenching stories about those who have become addicts, the site received a lot of criticism from the same organizations that he had tried to work with.
“Over time, more or less everything I have said has become generally accepted fact but for a while I was very much a lone voice in the wilderness. I also received a lot of criticism for using frightening imagery and ‘scare tactics’, but that’s the reality of crystal meth, and the problem actually lies with people who live in denial and find truth and reality hard to confront. Graphic imagery can be a very potent deterrent. The gay culture is built around looking fit and healthy, and meth strips away all positive physical attributes. Words that come from a place of deep anguish and suffering can be far more powerful and effective than pictures. It would take a heartless person not to shed at least a tear from reading the personal experiences section of the site headed ‘Your Experiences.’ For many, these emotive accounts have provided the catalyst to flush crystal down the toilet where it belongs. I just write the factual stuff - it’s those who share their intimate, and inevitably horrendous, experiences using meth who are waking people up to what this drug is really capable of. Researching this work made me realize how many people prefer to inhabit an illusion-filled, sugar-coated world detached from what is really going on, and it is this rigid, rose-tinted attitude that allows things like crystal meth and all the other shit in the world to fester. Collectively we prefer to live our lives dishonestly instead of confronting reality head-on.”
Only in today’s online world could Leigh effectively create what he has. The ability for anyone in the world with computer access to visit his site has ensured that his message can be heard.
”Life Or Meth could only have worked on the internet. Its information had to be free and readily accessible worldwide, because meth is emerging as a problem facing gay men globally. It has worked on a number of levels; as an abstinence resource in countries where meth use is already at epidemic levels, like the US, Canada and Australia; and as a prevention and awareness resource where it has yet to hit big, and I pray never will, such as in Europe. At the moment two-thirds of visits are from within the States and about 20% within the UK, and these figures fluctuate depending on where I am promoting Life or Meth at the time. Most of my activity in recent months has been centered in the UK where I have participated in several media projects and significantly raised awareness of the dangers of meth to the British public,” he said. “Simply being truthful and honest with the facts is why Life or Meth has had more impact and success than any other resource or campaign created around meth. Knowledge really is power and truth and empowerment does set you free, and they are the keys to escaping addiction. Life Or Meth’s own online surveys, in which thousands have participated, reveal that 60% of visitors to the site are users of meth, of whom two-thirds - or 200,000 of the half million visitors to date - are either inspired or empowered by its message to quit using. Not all will do so immediately, of course, but Life or Meth is a constant tool at their fingertips that they know they can access at any time. I have emails from several people who credit Life or Meth with saving their lives. That’s why I do this work.”
Leigh has much more to do, and with help of media that is taking his message to the masses, he is confident that he will continue to help meth addicts try to turn their lives around, and convince those who have never done the drug to never touch it. To do that however, he needs help. The site was scheduled to close down on January 10th, 2006, but a donation has emerged that will see Life or Meth continue to exist into the spring. However, even with the tragedy of meth coming to light, Leigh still finds it to be a struggle.
“My immediate goal for the campaign is to find a way of funding it. For four years I have channeled nearly all my efforts and resources into it, and unless I can find a way to make it pay for itself soon then it will have to close. I have tried to obtain funding from various charitable bodies, including the Elton John AIDS Organization, but they don’t seem to appreciate the significance of Life or Meth’s contribution to the realm of gay men’s health and well-being, nor its role in HIV prevention. LIFE OR METH is a one-man band, and in that respect I am grateful that I don’t have to wade through layers of bureaucracy or the inter-departmental interference that is common in large organizations. I have the luxury of speaking from the heart and saying what I damn well like. But the downside to my personal, honest approach, which is proven to work, is that it closes an awful lot of doors in my face. A lot of the people who head these large organizations and who wield the power to dispense the funds tend to be suspicious and perhaps even a little fearful of my non-conformism. I mean, who am I to have gone against the grain and done my own thing to turn the spotlight on a new epidemic that everybody else was ignoring? Life Or Meth was the catalyst for the first US national meth campaign that followed in 2003 called Meth = Death, which made it OK for others to follow suit. The irony is that while thousands of gay men attend fundraisers in honor of the large AIDS and gay men’s organizations, many of which are now only just responding to the meth threat after years of denial, LIFE OR METH is struggling just to survive.”
GayCalgary.com has taken the initiative to help Leigh’s message reach the Calgary Gay Community. Look for the Life or Meth advertisements in our magazine, as well as the posters which will be distributed to many gay party locations over the next month.
For more information visit www.lifeormeth.com
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