Well it’s September, and by some warped sense of logic, this month’s porn review has a “back to school” theme. By “school” we obviously mean University, College, or any other educational institution where people over the age of 18 dwell. If you were hoping for otherwise then firstly I say, “ewww,” and secondly, sorry to disappoint you. Even these college boys are a little too young and twinkish for my liking, but I’ll do my best to feign interest.
Our line up from Adult Depot includes “College Cumfest” by Blöc Hardcore, and “Pledging Frat Boyz” by SanDiegoBoy Productions.
“College Cumfest” is a foreign film where all the boys speak some Germanic or Slavic language as best I can tell. Luckily there are English subtitles, because the opening scene has some of the most compelling dialogue that I’ve seen in porno in a long time - or maybe not understanding the language renders me unable to judge how contrived their acting is. Nevertheless, the production value of the film is excellent, having vivid video, speech that’s not muffled or drowned out, and reasonably un-cheesy music. The guys are pretty beautiful, even I have to admit; clean shaven, healthy builds, clear complexions and tidy haircuts. I definitely get the impression that they were chosen based on appearance, not just solely on cock size. Unless they’re taking Fellatio 101, they should learn to better utilize their study time!
As for “Pledging Frat Boys,” two guys get right into some shower action. Unfortunately, they engage in some light dialogue beforehand, with inappropriate grinning and staring at the camera as if seeking approval from the director. Amateur porn, you gotta love it! The plot centers around two frat boys having a mostly non-verbal discussion about how they’re going to pledge new members into their house. Next comes the recruiting, where they run around campus to invite as many people as they can to their initiation party. I’ll give you a hint – you might want to flyer the two guys wearing pink golf-shirts and chattering like high school girls! Then finally comes the party itself – introduced with the grammatically stimulating line: “We’re about to initiate y’all into the delta-nu fraternity. There’s a lot of things we gotta do, and a lotta things we gotta be done to.” I think I just saw the editor’s nose twitch. Anyway, the guys in this one are certainly not too bright, but body-wise they’re chicken with light builds and zero body hair. I’d guess that a lot of guys would be drooling over them, but they’re too low in fiber for my taste.
From Adult Source we have “Frat House” and “Get It On – Part 2” by Bacchus Releasing.
There’s not any rhyme, reason, or storyline to “Frat House” – it’s just a bunch of random sexual encounters between a bunch of guys living together in a frat house. One thing that humored me was the lazy jazz and easy-listening music playing in the background. Pretty good tunes for a drive to the mountains if your parents don’t mind the occasional slurp, smack, and “Oh gawd yeah!” That aside, the guys are more mature than in the previous two films. Some are well muscled, others have a light sprinkling of chest hair but, they all have in common their nicely proportioned goods. My favorite guy was Rick Brock, who oddly reminded me of a sexy version of Robert DeNiro. Though his member starts off small, it soon becomes quite a mouthful for his eager frat companion. Yummy!
“Get It On – Part 2” doesn’t really fit into our back-to-school theme, but upon viewing the film, I quickly forgot why this even mattered; finally something to get my blood pumping. It starts with two hunky body-builders, a Latino and a black guy, working out beside their backyard pool. Wordlessly start slathering each other with oil, shining up their muscles and messing around. They spray each other down with the garden hose and move into the indoor hot tub, where things get a lot more serious. The second scene was nothing special, but at least it’s over with pretty quick. Ryan Block in the third scene definitely took the cake – by far the hottest of all the guys in the porno if you ask me. He starts with some idle locker-room chit chat, going on to do a set of sit-ups and push-ups wearing nothing but a jock-strap! His buddy starts helping him with stretches, and one thing leads to another. It makes for a very hot scene…but on a side note, did anyone notice the big black butt-plug in the corner? No locker room is complete without one!
So, while your professors go through all the boring administration stuff in your first lectures, they’ll probably wonder why you have such a big grin on your face. Be careful though, they can see what you’re playing with under the desk!
“College Cumfest” and “Pledging Frat Boyz”
Available at Adult Depot
524 6th Ave SE – (403) 264-7399
140 – 58th Ave SW – (403) 258-2777
www.adultdepotstore.com
afterdk@telus.net
“Frat House” and “Get It On – Part 2”
Available at Adult Source
10210 Macleod Trail SE – (403) 217-7848
1536 16th Ave NW – (403) 289-4203
2770 32nd Ave NE – (403) 250-8225
1127 17th Ave SW – (403) 244-6537
4310 17th Ave SE – (403) 273-2701
