Any other time of year, being afraid is considered a negative experience – an unwelcome departure from an overdeveloped sense of security. But Halloween is a chance to wrap ourselves in the very vision of death, decay and darkness that frightens some of us so much. By doing so, we make our fears just as tangible and mortal as the people pretending to be them. Then we suspend our disbelief to pretend those zombies, ghosts, werewolves etc. are real, so that we can be afraid of them knowing we aren’t actually in danger. It seems bizarre and backwards.

The only explanation I can conceive of is that we want to be scared, or even like to be scared, as Josh Gilmour of Screamfest put it (see page 49). Frankly, I think we have a primal need to be scared every once in a while, or else we start to question whether there is something wrong with us.

In today’s society, people are expected to behave like obedient, efficient and reliable machines, but they are not! The simple fact is that human beings (like all other living beings) are equipped with instincts that serve to keep us alive. But how often in your everyday routine do you encounter a direct threat to your life? Those survival instincts are going largely unused.

Inconveniently we still need those impulses if there ever does come a time when we truly are threatened. For lack of a better option, our psyche will find ways to compensate so that we still make use of those instincts, to keep our physical responses sharp, in case of an actual emergency - like a fire drill for your fight-or-flight response. For that reason, a threat to your livelihood can seem just as dire as a threat to your life; a disparaging comment can seem just as threatening as a strike across the face. My hypothesis is that there is a quota to fill, even if it means making a mountain out of a molehill. Without the stresses of bona-fide survival, we are ticking time bombs for physical violence (fight) and irrational hatred (flight).

Without realizing it, many of us gravitate toward controlled situations that test our reactions. For instance, playing sports lets you channel that violent energy into a structured competition. Watching sports puts you in the place of your favourite player or team; you go through the stress of their struggle, and adopt a temporary or permanent hatred for their opponent. If you find yourself liking a horror or disaster flick, or even a violent video game, it’s likely because it allows you to exercise the mental stresses of fighting for your life without actually fighting for your life. Music can invoke turbulent emotions, and dancing lets you express them. It seems the whole entertainment industry is there to channel your ugly and dangerous inclinations into something less destructive (and make a pretty penny while doing it)! These outlets are your metaphorical punching bags; hit them or hate them.

What’s the worst that can happen if you don’t cope with your daily need for conflict? Just ask any brand of fanatic, phobic, drama queen, and career criminal walking the earth. If their lifestyle doesn’t bring enough misfortune to challenge them, they end up looking for a fight which visits suffering on themselves, those they love, and those they choose to blame and hate. Next time you meet one of these types, save them from themselves – give them a punching bag so they won’t practice on people.

Halloween is a great opportunity to scare ourselves senseless, and that’s healthy. So if you take anything away from this article, I hope it is this: you choose most of your own demons, so unless your life is actually in danger, there is no excuse to fight or hate a person over a punching bag.

In With the New

Last month was quite eventful, especially in Edmonton with the opening of PLAY Nightclub. Steve was up for the weekend to kill several birds with one stone – the grand opening on the Friday, the Pure Party and Buddys White Party on the Saturday, and the Edmonton AIDS Walk for Life on the Sunday.

The story of PLAY’s opening brought out an interesting phenomenon that we saw happen once before, when the Twisted Element opened here in Calgary. I’m going to draw a few comparisons before I go on to frame the story as a lesson in cooperation.

On opening night, Steve texted that the new bar likely hit capacity before they even opened, thanks to the VIP line down the block, the likes of which Twisted Element didn’t see on their opening night until much later in the evening, and even then not this long. When PLAY did open at 9pm, they proceeded to let in as many people as they could, before their fire capacity forbade them from taking any more. People continued to wait in line for hours, and some got frustrated and gave up. When everyone wants to come take a look, we have to take turns. Steve commented that he felt strange, perhaps a bit relieved that he didn’t have to pitch in with bussing, or running to get change, as we did on Twisted Element’s opening night. For a first night, PLAY was extremely well organized, and that meant Steve could enjoy himself.

A bright, shiny new gay bar seems to draw out hundreds of gays and lesbians that otherwise keep a low profile. These might be the people who became jaded toward the gay bar scene and stopped going out long ago, but nevertheless, something new piques their curiosity. For the first year or so, those unfamiliar faces come out regularly – a great chance for a new bar to get a foothold, and to change the minds of that crowd about the gay bar scene before they go back into hiding. If everyone plays their cards right, this can be a saving grace even for the other bars: plenty of people to go around, and a renewed curiosity in the gay bar scene. Time to show off your best, and keep the customers coming back!

But it can also inspire the worst in those who are resistant to change, who perceive the new kid on the block as a threat to their usual way of doing things. Business owners work hard to maintain what they have, and the prospect of dealing with a changing dynamic can compound their already stressful lives. It’s easy and almost instinctual to panic, to try and attack that perceived rising threat head-on before it gains a grip. A dangerous approach; time spent on the war path is time wasted away from your own business, and if that falls apart then you lose anyway.

“The best offense is a good defence.” In this case, a business’s defence is to concentrate on improving itself to remain competitive. Competition is what keeps a business lean and mean, adapting to the changing world, and ready for the other hurtles that are coming down the road.

Of course, there’s also the saying, “if you can’t beat them, join them.” You don’t have to give up what you hold dear to do this. Fighting only causes suffering for both of you, and collateral damage to innocent bystanders. Before you do something unforgiveable, and if you are clever enough to realize the inevitable truth that you can never truly beat someone completely and permanently, then you can get on with joining them. A plan that stands to significantly benefit all parties, without harmful side effects, and where the benefits are justly balanced by each party’s contribution is an offer that shouldn’t be refused.

Vote or Die!

Just kidding, but do vote, no matter which way you decide to go. Though we have our own opinions on the matter, GC&E’s approach has always been to help you make an informed decision within the scope of the gay community, rather than flat out tell you who to vote for.

Most likely your mind is already made up, after seeing the stance taken by XTra, Egale Canada, and many other prominent GLBT+ figures. Stephen Lock took on the tricky matter of weighing in on the topic, and agreed with the potential dangers (in general, and specific to GLBT+ individuals) of a Conservative majority government.

The one thing we will say is this. As a media outlet it of course irks us to hear reports about Stephen Harper banning media whom he believes won’t reflect him positively, and imposing an allowed list of questions on those who are authorized to attend. It’s not exactly honest or accountable...if anything, it’s biased and evasive. Every other candidate has to face cameras and questions from media outlets that favour the conservatives (and shame on them too, for taking sides), so what’s the problem? If Harper does make it back into power, I hope he realizes that Cuba also has a government that looks bloody brilliant on local TV. It counts for nothing.

The gay vote can make a difference, we’ve already seen it happen in our cities. Only you can do it, so don’t let it go to waste!

September 2008

• The AIDS Calgary Walk for Life happened on a slightly rainy Sunday morning, but nevertheless organizers were thrilled to announce the grand total of $122,000 raised, exceeding their target by $12,000! Once again Bryon Callaghan received an award for single-handedly raising $23,000 with his walk. Mark Randall was awarded the Roger LeBlanc Spirit Award for dedication and contribution to the awareness and prevention of HIV/AIDS.

• GirlsGroove hosted their Garden Party at the Pioneer Memorial building, once again stunning us with their resourcefulness in finding unique and beautiful venues to hold their events. I spent the good part of a sunny afternoon hanging out and chatting with the girls, and having a great time. But regrettably I had to take off before the dancing started.

• The Calgary Eagle hosted their annual Mr. Calgary Leather weekend, this year sponsored by Priape. It started with the Meat and Greet on the Friday, which happened in conjunction with Boot Black David’s Shine for Beswick, an interesting fundraiser that accepted donations for a genuine spit-polish. My black sneakers look good as new! The Saturday was very busy, as competitors went through the necessary hoops, and the victor was Ron Yakymyshyn (who appeared on our cover back in July).

• Our poll question last month asked, “Do you feel that the word ‘queer’ is an acceptable umbrella term for the GLBT community?” 27% said Yes, 66% said No, and 7% weren’t sure. So it appears that the gay population in Alberta has not completely warmed up to the term “queer” just yet.

• September was the month of non-profit group AGMs, and there are a few more to come this month. ARGRA elected their new board, as did Apollo in a record 16 minutes. Unfortunately nobody ran for Western Cup Director, so the position is still open.

• This month we finally got to implement an article idea we have been sitting on for years. After watching television shows like “Most Haunted”, we thought doing a ghost walkthrough of the gay bars would be fascinating. Our writer Jason arranged for a psychic to accompany us to the bars and do some readings, with the hope of uncovering some interesting stories. Unfortunately we didn’t make it to all of the bars, but it’s a fun start to a possibly recurring article. Read it on page 38.

• Photographs from June and July 2008 have been posted online.

This Month

• BEEF Beer Bash Bar Night is on Saturday, October 4th.

• Pride Calgary is having their AGM on Monday, October 6th. Also look out for their Cursed Cabaret Halloween Pride Dance on Friday, October 31st. For more information, visit www.pridecalgary.ca

• The Backlot is celebrating their 12th anniversary on Wednesday October the 15th, starting at 7pm. Congratulations guys!

• Cruiseline is hosting a very special event at the Calgary Eagle on October 17th, starting at 10pm.

• Fairy Tales is presenting a special screening of Carrie at the Marquee Room (7pm) followed by an afterparty at 9:30pm. Proceeds from the afterparty go to support CJSW’s Radio Queer Programming.

• The Texas Lounge is hosting their annual Skaryoke fundraiser on November 1st, benefiting Beswick House.

• The November edition of GayCalgary and Edmonton Magazine will mark a major milestone for us – our 5-year Anniversary Edition!!

We want to hear what YOU have to say about the topics in this article, and any other articles in our magazine. Visit the chat forums at www.gaycalgary.com and write your heart out! Or write us a letter to the publisher by E-mailing publisher@gaycalgary.com, and we may publish or respond to it in the magazine!