I’ve always had mixed feelings about Facebook, Twitter, and other technologies that push people to be in constant communication with one another.  As a business we can certainly appreciate the value of these things as a marketing tool, to keep our audience aware of what we’re up to.  But as individuals, I’m truly worried that these technologies are breaking down barriers between people that are expected to be there in order for us to function properly as a society.

Probably the most mainstream example of this is the notion of online bullying.  When I was growing up, like many kids I dealt with bullies at school and in my neighbourhood.  But my home was a safe place from all of that.  Sure, I sometimes dreaded going to school, but I could get through it knowing there was an end to it once I got home.  If I wanted to talk to my friends, I could call them on the phone or speak to them on a simple online chat program like ICQ or MSN Messenger.  It was easy for me to filter out any unwanted contact with people that I didn’t want to hear from.

Thanks to Social Media, even home doesn’t feel like a safe place any more.  The people that you don’t want to hear from can reach you, even if they’re not talking to you directly.  There’s no such thing as trying to avoid being online at the same time as them, because they can leave messages, tag you in photos or comments, or even write on your wall – all for you to see the next time you log in.  It’s difficult to hide because even when you’re not logged in, your profile gives them a constant reminder of your existence, leaving you open for opportunistic attacks any time they see your name show up.  What’s worse is that they can glean further personal details about you from your profile or from sifting through your entire history of public discussions with others, giving them more ammunition to taunt you with.  You may as well invite the people that bother you right into your home.

Social Media has also become a precarious outlet for people to deal with their anger.  Everyone needs to vent from time to time; it’s part of being human.  But we sometimes need an outside party to talk us down before we make a fool of ourselves publicly.  When I’m mad about something, I’ll get that negative energy out by ranting to friends or loved ones in private.  They’re the ones who will help me work through it, kindly influence my thinking back toward reason when I need it, and not hold a poor reaction against me after I’ve come around.  This is a safe place for me to express my emotions and test them out, so I can at least make a choice whether to drop the issue or proceed with it.

Social Media has broken down that filter so that all of us can instantly share our poorly thought out knee-jerk reactions with the entire world.  You may as well be shouting across a crowded room to express your private and personal thoughts to friends and family.  Your friends and family can still help, but there are numerous others who may see it and react just as poorly back toward you.  Too many hot tempers converging on one another will invariably erupt into a brawl, which leaves everyone feeling wounded and indignant.  You only spoke out of a need to have your anger resolved, but instead your anger is magnified and spread to others.  Social Media then makes it easier than ever to play the old passive-aggressive game of talking around each other.  All of this just makes things more difficult for you in your day to day life.

There are numerous other scenarios that I can think of, where Social Media has become a bane.  Checking in, or being checked into places other than your home can instantly notify malicious people of a prime opportunity to vandalize or burglarize your home.  Games like Farmville are designed to post updates to your profile about your game progress.  This can be a breach of privacy, and can get you into a lot of trouble if you’re supposed to be doing something more important.  People can easily create fake profiles for themselves to avoid accountability for their own words and actions online.  This also gives their opinions a misleading lack of bias and context that would normally come with their identity.

The topic of my Master’s Thesis required me to do a fair amount of research on the human impact of various technology-enabled social awareness systems, and from what I gathered, every advantage that technology can provide also comes with a disadvantage.  The act of heightening awareness of others is a trade off with privacy.  It’s a good thing when technology provides something of use or value, such as facilitating work or social activities, but it’s a bad thing when it is misused or it misbehaves.  There has been a huge amount of research to find solutions for our technology to mitigate privacy as seamlessly as it can provide awareness, but nothing short of another human in between can handle this ideally.  So that means we as individuals are left to take this responsibility into our own hands.

Even the chattiest of Kathy’s needs to spend some time away from other people.  Too much contact with other people means you are "always-on," you never get to let your guard down which is exhausting.  Value your solitude.  You need time to consciously process and reflect on what happens around you before you go shovelling more information into your head.

Remember who your real friends are.  Keep them on separate lists from family, work colleagues, real life acquaintances, online acquaintances, "frienemies", and any strangers that you may have added for other reasons.  For each post you make, consider anew which lists you include.   If you can’t name every person that will be able to see what you’re about to post, then it’s probably safer not to post.

Everything you do on Social Media has consequences.  Know what they are so that you can stop yourself from making a mistake.  Familiarize yourself with the privacy settings that these technologies offer, and use them.  At the same time remember that technology isn’t perfect and can’t always be trusted.

Don’t post anything publicly on Social Media that you wouldn’t be comfortable shouting across a crowded room of family, work colleagues, and strangers.  You may think you know who is seeing what you post, but Social Media can sometimes behave contrary to your expectations.  Exercise your right to freedom of speech by making a conscious decision about who you speak to, and when is best not to speak at all.  The phone is still at your disposal when you need it.

Once you say something on Social Media, you can’t ever take it back, even if it’s only there for a few seconds.  The ability to delete a post gives you a false sense of security.  If you say something you shouldn’t have, it is incredibly easy for anyone to nail you for it by recording and reproducing it.  Whatever you post may also be automatically Emailed to everyone that subscribes to the group or feed that you post in, and deleting your comment can’t undo that.  Be very careful what you post because it goes on permanent public record and it can come back to haunt you.

Don’t believe everything you read, and even if you do, don’t react to it until you’ve had proper time to consider the source, verify it, and think.  Chances are that you’ll look like a tool when you comment on someone or something you don’t know anything about, regardless of whether your feedback is positive or negative.  Stick to what you know, don’t become the peanut gallery.

People don’t need to know about every detail of your life.  Attention you get from unnecessary status updates is not always the right kind of attention.  If you imagine that your updates about trivial things annoyed every person who didn’t comment or like it, you’re about right.  Only share information that you honestly think has value to the people you’re sharing with.  Don’t "cry wolf" with meaningless updates, it detracts from when you have something meaningful to say.

Social Media is so new that we haven’t established proper social guidelines to cover it.  With new barriers to communication broken down we have to police ourselves, which requires thought and discipline from us all.  Much like safe sex, safe social networking requires a conscious effort.

With our new policy on coverage we have saved a lot of time this month, so we have finally been able to make some headway on the GayCalgary website.

Previously we had a photo gallery area on our website that we eventually disabled after a long period without updates.  Part of the reason for this was that doing updates was horribly complicated and time consuming, so it fell to the wayside.

This month we were able to get a new photo gallery system set up on our site that makes our job of adding photos much more manageable.  We’ve already gone back a few months and posted back to Calgary Pride this past September, perhaps further by the time you’re reading this.

We will continue getting caught up on past months as time goes by.  We have 8 years to get caught up on, plus we have stuff to post from the pre-magazine days back to the year 2000.  But people will finally be able to see the complete set of photos (minus the ones that didn’t turn out) from events that we have personally covered, and get a copy of their favourites.

Our photo galleries don’t just contain photos, however.  We are also posting video clips that you can view with a much more widely compatible player.  If you can watch clips on YouTube, you’ll be able to watch clips from our gallery as well with our own embedded player.  Plus, the gallery is set up to allow you to share your favourite photos and videos on Facebook, or embed photos into your own website.

If you’re looking for something specific, the gallery comes with built-in search capabilities that help you to quickly find photos by the name of the event, presenting organization, city, location, date, and other keywords.

This past month Calgary bid farewell to one of its nightclubs.  Club Sapien was the bar of choice for numerous LGBT Calgarians, but due to various factors making it impossible to continue running, they made the call to close their doors.

In my time I’ve seen several bars try to continue running until they are physically kicked out by their landlords, vanishing overnight without warning.  That’s why this was among the more dignified bar closures I’ve witnessed.  Club Sapien threw a well attended Friday and Saturday night farewell party before they officially closed on Sunday.  It was a chance to properly say goodbye to one of our gay spaces.

The staff did a great job of making sure these last two nights were fun for everyone.  April Storm was able to keep the mood light with some side-splitting dark humour about the situation in between fabulous final drag performances by herself, Argentina, and Farah.  Club Sapien was in business for just over one year.

In contrast, the Calgary Eagle celebrated a milestone of longevity with their 10th Anniversary the following weekend.  It was a great chance to get caught up with friends, old and new, and to appreciate how far the bar has come.

Perhaps Calgarians are learning not to take their LGBT dance floors for granted, or perhaps it was just coincidence, but the ARGRA White Party later in the month was strongly supported and received a huge turnout despite the cold weather.  It was a great party, and people continued dancing well into the wee hours of the morning.

Meanwhile, we were proud to sponsor Team Edmonton for their annual Mixer at the Sawridge Inn.  Organizers say the event was another huge success.  Similarly, Jasper Pride and Whistler Pride both reported great success for their events.

A selection of photos from most of these events can be seen in this edition, and the full collection of photos is available online in our new photo gallery!  Visit the URL below:

http://www.gaycalgary.com/pa3

We’re still looking for freelance Edmontonian writers and photographers to step forward to help take care of local city coverage.  If you are proud of your city and want Edmonton to continue to have strong representation as part of GayCalgary Magazine’s Alberta-wide scope, we need your help...plus we pay you for your efforts, and your work is seen by an estimated audience of close to 200,000 readers.  Contact us by Email at magazine@gaycalgary.com if you have any questions, or to apply.  Please submit a sample of your work, along with your name and contact information.

We’re excited to announce that we’ve officially confirmed OVER the Rainbow level sponsorship with Edmonton Pride Festival Society.  This will be the 6th consecutive year that GayCalgary Magazine has been a major sponsor of Edmonton Pride.

There are some great LGBT community events coming up this month at the University of Calgary: the Coming Out Monologues (March 15th and 16th), and the Gender Bender (March 23rd).  For more information look for the ads or read the articles in this edition.

In Edmonton, Living Positive through Positive Living Society is bringing Jeffery Straker to town for a special performance at McDougall United Church on March 16th.  I’ve not had the chance to express how impressed I was with Straker’s CD that came out last year.  He is definitely worth the $15 to see!  Refer to the ad in this edition for more details.

Last but not least, Back(lot) 2 Boyz(town) is back for its second year as a kick-off to Apollo Western Cup.  It was a raging hit last year, so mark your calendars for the night of April 4th.  See the ad in this edition for more details.