Bowdoin College is a warm, welcoming place. Nestled
in a small Maine town, it’s the kind of place where Ben Chadwick could be out –
and enjoy full, even joyful, acceptance from his lacrosse teammates and
coaches.
Yet – as Chadwick himself notes – Bowdoin is "a bit
of a bubble."
So as warm and welcoming as the school is, it was
still important for Brian Burke to appear there this spring. The Toronto Maple
Leafs general manager – whose openly gay son Brendan was killed in an
automobile accident last spring – spoke to a packed auditorium as part of
Bowdoin’s "Anything But Straight in Athletics" series.
"It’s good for students here to understand that
being gay is still an issue" beyond Bowdoin’s idyllic campus, Chadwick says.
The event featured a representative of one of
sport’s most macho cultures – ice hockey – thanks in part to the efforts of
someone who plays another notoriously anti-gay game: lacrosse.
Yet Chadwick epitomizes the changes sweeping through
even the most masculine sports today.
Growing up in Needham, Mass., he always knew he was
different. But he was a jock – an All-State football receiver, in fact – and
did not come out until senior year. His friends and family were very
supportive, but word spread quickly – "high school drama," Chadwick laughs –
and as captain of the lacrosse team, he worried he’d lost control of the
process.
So in college it took a while for him to come out
again. "The lacrosse culture is generally conservative – pretty close-minded,"
Chadwick notes.
His brother had played lacrosse at Bowdoin, though,
so Chadwick was already friendly with older players and the coaches. His
college coming-out experience, he says, has been "awesome." His teammates
pledged to support him in any way they could – and they have.
Still, Chadwick says, there was "not much of a
bridge" between Bowdoin athletes and LGBT students. So as a sophomore he worked
with Resource Center for Sexual and Gender Diversity director Kate Stern and
openly gay men’s tennis coach Colin Joyner to create Anything But Straight in
Athletics. They met every couple of months, talking about common issues and
offering support to LGBT athletes.
Last year they developed a special program for the
entire Bowdoin community. ESPN writer LZ Granderson discussed "Men, Manhood and
Mayhem: The Real Reasons Behind Homphobia in Sports." Out himself, he addressed
perceived threats to men who have gay teammates.
At the same time, openly gay photographer Jeff Sheng
exhibited "Fearless," his stunning portraits of LGBT high school and college
athletes.
This year, Chadwick’s connection to the ABSA day was
even more personal.
Brian Burke’s daughter Molly was a sophomore at
Bowdoin. She and Chadwick are friends. Through her and mutual friends, he met
Brendan Burke last year.
"He was an unbelievable guy," Chadwick says of the
beloved Miami University of Ohio hockey manager. "I looked forward to getting
to know him more."
Two weeks later, Brendan Burke was killed in an
automobile accident. His death stunned the hockey world, from the college
players who had accepted him as a full, important member of their team, to his
father’s colleagues and the entire National Hockey League. Brian Burke is a
long-time sports executive, including a stint as general manager of the 2010
U.S. Olympic hockey team.
At Bowdoin, Burke did not talk much about his son.
"It’s still too raw," Chadwick says.
But Burke did describe the NHL environment, in terms
of sexuality. And he did say that his Maple Leafs team would be very accepting
of an openly gay player.
"It was good to get the outside perspective,"
Chadwick says. "We’re inside the Bowdoin bubble. We need to hear the macro
level."
Seeing a lecture hall full of athletes listen raptly
to a big, gruff guy talk about accepting gay men in hockey was "very exciting,"
Chadwick says.
And Burke’s "very positive" words resonated with
everyone, Chadwick adds. "Your sexuality doesn’t matter, so long as you produce
on the ice" was the main message, and it was delivered loudly and clearly,
Chadwick says.
Burke described the hundreds of emails he received
after the death of his son. One boy said he’d be kicked out of his house if his
parents knew he was gay. "That broke my heart," Burke said.
Chadwick graduated last month. He’s heading to New
Orleans, where he’ll spend two years with Teach for America (and, hopefully, do
some coaching). Looking back at his Bowdoin career, he is proud and happy.
"Four years ago," he says, "people might have
thought the lacrosse team would be the last one to accept a gay guy. But
everyone has been great."
Thanks, in part, to the great attitude and hard work
of athletes like Ben Chadwick and Brian Burke.
Dan Woog is a journalist, educator, soccer coach, gay activist, and author of the "Jocks" series of books on gay male athletes. Visit his website at www.danwoog.com.