Jane Lynch knows a thing or two about playing terrifying  teachers, what with her Emmy-winning stint as cheerleading taskmaster Sue  Sylvester on Glee. So it’s not that big a leap to imagine her putting on a  nun’s habit and scaring the bejesus out of an orphan or two. Or three,  actually, since she’s just been cast as a Mother Superior in The Three  Stooges, playing the nun who takes in the titular trio as foundlings. (They’re  already smacking each other in the head as infants and trying to perfect that  eye-gouge move, of course.) Romeo recently reported that Sean Hayes will be  playing Larry in the Farrelly Brothers reboot of the vintage slapstick shorts,  and Will Sasso of S#*! My Dad Says has been cast as Curly; there ain’t no Moe  yet, but there will be soon. The new incarnation of The Three Stooges is set  to nyuck-nyuck-nyuck its way into theaters next year, so wait for it  chowderheads.

Eva Longoria explores life Without Men

Given her marital troubles of late, one could hardly blame  Eva Longoria for wanting to spend some time Without Men – and,  coincidentally, that happens to be the name of her new movie, a comedy about an  unnamed Latin American village and what happens to the local ladies when  guerrillas take the men away to fight in a war. With Longoria as mayor, the  populace learns how to clean the streets and change the bulbs on the  streetlights, and eventually some of the women – Longoria’s character included  – discover that other women can be even more fun between the sheets than their  now-absent husbands. Without Men is slated for a July release, and Longoria  heads up an impressive cast that also includes Christian Slater, Camryn  Manheim, Oscar Nuñez (The Office), Maria Conchita Alonso and gay actor  Guillermo Diaz (Cop Out). You haven’t seen this much girl power since the  last Desperate Housewives catfight. Yes, that show is still on.

Operation: Get Cynthia Nixon another Emmy

Sex and the City’s Cynthia Nixon already snapped up a  Guest Star Emmy in 2007 for her appearance as a woman with multiple  personalities on NBC’s Law & Order: Special Victim’s Unit, so why not go  back to the well for another by appearing on the franchise’s cousin, Criminal  Intent? In the upcoming episode – in keeping with the always hilarious "ripped  from the headlines" nature of crime procedural television long since  strip-mined of fresh ideas – Nixon will play a loosely-translated version of  visionary stage director Julie Taymor, re-named Amanda Reese. The character  becomes a murder suspect alongside her musical collaborator "Arno" (see: Bono)  after an actor dies on the set of technically complicated stage production not  called Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark. No word on who’s playing the  Bono-alike, but it should totally be Jimmy Fallon. Coming soon: an episode  about a political candidate/real estate mogul/game show host with a bad  combover accused of murder.

Channing Tatum returns to stripping

Now that Channing Tatum has wrapped Haywire with director  Steven Soderbergh, his next project will take him back to his days as a  19-year-old male stripper. No, it’s not a remake of the Christopher  Atkins-starring ’80s male-stripper drama (and unintentional comedy) One Night  In Heaven. This is going to be the Channing Tatum-starring 2012 male-stripper  comedy-drama Magic Mike. How will they differ? For starters, Soderbergh is  postponing his threatened retirement to direct the thing and re-team with  Tatum, who’ll lend an air of autobiographical realness to the project since  it’s based on his own real-life experiences. It’s all underway right now and if  the creative team wants a long life and legacy for the film from what is sure  to be its ultimate fan base, they’d be wise to A) set it in Las Vegas, B) make  sure there’s plenty of full-frontal nudity, C) give Gina Gershon lots of great  dialogue and D) remember to pronounce it "Ver-SAYCE."