
Johnny Knoxville in “Jackass: Number Two”
Image by: Paramount Pictures
If she comes from an already
man-free, lesbian-leaning place called Paradise Island, are we surprised that
the rebooted Wonder Woman TV project from David E. Kelly is going to feature
an arch lady-nemesis who may have strong feelings for the crime fighter in red,
white and blue? No? Good, because that villainess – an evil pharmaceutical
corporation CEO – is going to be played by Elizabeth Hurley, who should be
great at bringing some devilish sex to the role. In other cool casting news,
Rent alum Tracie Thoms is on board as Etta, cheery personal assistant to
Friday Night Lights star Adrianne Palicki’s Diana Prince/Wonder Woman. More
casting and go-to-series decision news as it comes in, but that sound you hear
is a million lesbian TV viewers clearing space on their DVRs.
The Jackass machine keeps
rolling
The
men of Jackass need to keep working. And if those jobs could involve less
chance of spinal cord injury then so much the better. And to that end, Johnny
Knoxville has a couple of new projects lined up. The first one, called First
Man, is a script about a rowdy hellraiser whose wife is elected president. His
response? Goofy post-adolescent (OK, more like creeping middle-age) rebellion.
And after that Knoxville is planning to re-team with Jackass colleagues Bam
Margera and Ryan Dunn for a crime comedy called Mustache Riders. It’ll
co-star Willie Nelson as a veteran outlaw who leads three small-time crooks on
a buried treasure hunt and will, in keeping with the three "actors’" abilities,
provide them with the opportunity to do their own stunts. Now, it’s presumed
that none of those stunts will involve two naked men being superglued to one
another like in Jackass 3D, but you never know. Don’t underestimate these
guys and their love of the gay-adjacent scenario.
Romeo in the military, Audrey
Hepburn in Japan
Alan Brown keeps busy. Don’t
know him? Well he’s the man who just adapted Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet
for the big screen, but set it in an all-male military academy and called it
Private Romeo. Up-and-comers Seth Numrich and Matt Doyle star (yes, it
features original Shakespearean English as the boys engage in basketball court
brawls and tender make-out scenes) and it’ll start hitting film festivals this
spring. And in even bigger news, Brown’s new film project, Audrey Hepburn’s
Neck, is in the early stages of production and will star Krysten Ritter, Ari
Graynor and Brian Geraghty. It’s based on Brown’s own 1996 novel and is a
romantic comedy about a young Japanese man obsessed with American women. It’s
also the story of his American friend, a gay guy who has more than his share of
adventures with his own obsession: Japanese men. So whatever you call Brown
after these projects hit screens, don’t call him timid or safe.
New Year’s Eve? For gays
too?
Pretty Woman director Garry
Marshall knows when to strike while the iron is still hot. His last film, the
huge ensemble comedy Valentine’s Day, was a big hit with audiences and, in
spite of its timid – OK, stupid – portrayal of gay love (Gay characters
Eric Dane and Bradley Cooper don’t kiss. Instead, one of them brushes the
other’s check with an orchid. Yes, really.) it managed not to offend much of
the queer audience. Well, now Marshall’s back in action with a sequel of sorts:
New Year’s Eve. It’ll star, among many others, Robert DeNiro, Ashton
Kutcher, Katherine Heigl, Lea Michele, Josh Duhamel, Sofia Vergara, Zac Efron,
Hilary Swank, Jon Bon Jovi, Michele Pfeiffer, Sarah Jessica Parker, Ice Cube
and Ryan Seacrest. So a franchise of holiday-themed rom-coms is born. But we
demand that this time the gays and/or the lesbians be allowed to kiss at midnight.
This isn’t a polite request. Just do it.