Dear Nina,
Recently I have been hearing all sorts of crap about my girlfriend of 11 months. Some people are saying that she is having sex behind my back and laughing about it, and others say that she is going to hurt me because of her past. I don’t know who to trust - I love my girlfriend but don’t know what to do or who to believe. Can you help?
Miss Guided
Dear Miss Guided,
It sounds to me like you really need to evaluate where you are getting your info. Some questions I would ask myself: what is their motivation, are they interfering in your life because theirs sucks, and the big question is how much do theses people really care about you? Are they of questionable character or are they busy bodies trying to ruin your good thing. I also wonder if you have talked with you partner, I would think you trust her first…and if not then maybe you aren’t in the right relationship my dear. Don’t do anything rash. Talk to your partner first and find out what she has to say, and go from there. Remember this relationship is between the two of you, and you both are what’s important, not the rantings of someone else who may or may not have your best interests at heart.
Best Wishes,
Nina tron
Dear Nina,
I’m leaving Calgary for a while and I’m not sure how to feel. The gay Bar has been home for me when I have no where to go, and with out twisted or the people there I’m not sure how I should be feeling. I’m going to miss everyone so much and it’s just like leaving home was hard enough I feel as though I’m leaving two homes with two separate families. I knew that I would be leaving for months now and it was just a matter of when. Well Thursday October 12 is that day, and as the time grows closer the gay life here is something I feel I will miss more than my home life. Friends have always been so important to me because I never had many growing up. Coming out changed that, and I feel and fear that when I return to Calgary my friends will have forgotten me or even replaced me. This is something I know won’t happen but I still have the feeling in my gut. So here’s where I need advice: how do I control these feelings and try to enjoy my time away, but be ready to start fresh and new again when I come back?
Thanks Gone
Dear Gone,
You should be called “Gone but not Forgotten.” I totally relate to your situation; when I left Vancouver for Calgary I too was very concerned that I would be erased from the memory of friends. I can tell you true friendship never changes just because you are separated. In fact you can go for years without talking at all, and most of the time once you are all caught up, you’ll pick up right where you left off. Even the people you weren’t that close with will still remember you for one reason or another. I can think of a few people in Vancouver who would rather forget they ever knew me, hell I can think of a few here too but it sucks to be them doesn’t it!! Go spread your wings my dear, get out and experience life - don’t let what might happen stop you! Any that choose to replace you or forget, they weren’t very good friends anyways - they are expendable. Just think of it as spring cleaning for your social life.
Good luck my dear, hope this helps!
Nina tron
I am here for you, and I look forward to hearing from you all, I can be reached at: AskNina@gaycalgary.com or Mailed to Ask Nina c/o GayCalgary.com Magazine, Suite 100, 215 14th Avenue SW, Calgary, Alberta T2R 0M2. You can also watch Nina every Sunday night and events through out the week at Twisted Element, 1006 11th Avenue SW.
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