I am certainly no stranger to feminism and empowerment of women – especially when it comes to sexuality. For instance, I am always marking periods of growth and potential with piercings and tattoos as a way to claim my own body. Instead of New Year’s resolutions, I make New Year’s revelations. A few years back I added to these revelations by vowing to do things that scare me, to move out of my comfort zone, to beat the system. You know, like dance how I want to, dye my hair outrageous colors, start writing for a magazine (ahem!)… and, audition for live theatre. My opportunity for the latter came in a tiny classified ad in FFWD that said: “The Vagina Monologues is coming to Calgary and we need to find an amazing cast! We need women of all ages, shapes, sizes, colours and abilities to make up this year’s show! You do not need any previous acting experience, you just need passion and desire…” It was perfect.
I chickened out for the first open call for auditions, but I made it to the second. I prepared like a fiend and promptly forgot it all upon arrival. So I grabbed one of the available monologues and did a cold read. Cold indeed! I was shivering from nerves and didn’t even take my coat off for the read. I began:
My vagina is a shell, a round, tender shell opening and closing…
my vagina is a flower, an eccentric tulip, the center acute and deep,
the scent delicate, the petals gentle and sturdy.
And so began my re-education.
Marsha Ellen Meidow has been involved with The Vagina Monologues (TVM) for four years now, and truly believes it is a life altering experience for any woman who is involved.
“Being a survivor of abuse, I promised myself I would help other women if I ever ’made it out alive.’ I was introduced to the play by a very outspoken and amazing woman I met in my Women’s Studies class at The University of Western Ontario. We decided to take on the production, with little to no support from the University. People were afraid to get involved with a play that had the word ’vagina‘ in the title, which only spurred us on even more. We ended up selling out! The standing ovation was incredible - so many women had been waiting for something like this for so long. People did not stop talking about it for months. From what I hear, they are still talking about it to this day!” Marsha commented.
The second year she was involved in TVM, she was raped by someone she loved and trusted.
”I didn’t think I could go through with the play - I didn’t even know if I could finish my schooling, even though I had put everything I had into my degree. I felt so devastated, and so incredibly alone. But in my heart, a fire grew. I could not let this abuser, or any other man who had tried to destroy me, stop me from fighting for all women. I knew that there were so many women out there who also felt scared and alone. I knew the play had to go on, for that exact reason. Again, we sold out.
”I related to Eve Ensler, the writer, who said that so many women were coming up to her after seeing the play. They so badly needed someone to hear their stories; they had suffered alone in silence for far too long.
”I was most moved by the men who would approach me. Some admitted they were ’intimidated,’ and ’unsure‘ of what to expect from The Vagina Monologues. They chuckled that their ’wives or friends made them go.’ Then, there would be a pause, and a smile would come over their face as they told me ’thank you‘ and go on and on about how much they had learned.
”Third year: Sold out again. A perfect example of the strong woman I have become, I proposed to the love of my life on stage in front of 500 people!
”Now I am in my fourth year of The Vagina Monologues. I am so excited to once again be directing such a diverse and beautiful cast. I love watching the women transform in front of me, and really embracing their roles. It gives me a rush of hope. We are on a mission to change peoples’ perspectives; To educate them about violence against women; To celebrate a woman’s body and her beautiful right to be sexual.”
This is co-Producer Jayde Farand’s second year involved with TVM. For her as well, it has been a life changing experience.
“I do this because I need to do my part in putting an end to the ignorance, the hatred, and the fear which are the source of suffering for millions of women everyday. I do it because I thrive on the freedom it allows me to express who I am as a feisty, sensitive, bisexual feminist with prowess, intelligence, and strength… with no apologies.
“Throughout my life I have lived through hardship, pain, and total anger. I have seen other women I love and cherish suffer and fight. I hated this so much that my hatred made me helpless; I was helpless because I was smothered in frustration, coated in the anger and sadness and fear that fuels the actions and ideas of the oppressors I despised: the sexists, the homophobes, the racists. It wasn’t until I looked within and realized that I held a beautiful strength inside myself, that I was able to look around and see that there is greatness in this world. Since then I have worked endlessly to empower myself and other women to challenge all forms of oppression by shattering the fear and ignorance that keeps these systems of hatred going. I see The Vagina Monologues as a direct challenge to the ugliest of fears that exist in our culture. TVM is a fun, enticingly erotic, delightfully playful celebration of women, and life. It is also a wake up call to anyone who blindly chooses to believe that violence towards women does not exist.”
Fellow self-avowed queer girl Shone Abet is, as I am, new to the TVM experience. She has this to say:
“The audition experience alone was one of celebration and liberation. It was a vaginal awakening! Since that time we have all had the unique pleasure of getting to know a group of truly phenomenal Vagina Warriors. The direction and support of our fearless leaders Jayde and Marsha lends, at least for me, a feeling of experience, support, and a soft place to land in moments of uncertainty about the process and evolution of my monologue and general involvement with the production. It has been and continues to be an extraordinary performance and personal growth experience. I love vaginas, I love monologues, and I love a good cause... it only seems logical that I would at some time get involved in the Vagina Monologues and fall in love with this amazing group of Vagina Warriors.”
A recurring theme during the evolution of this project is the very term of “Vagina Warrior” – along the way of learning and performing TVM comes a greater understanding of just what it is that is happening here. It’s a revolution, a call to self, a call to empowerment and as rehearsals evolve, so do the women involved. Fellow cast member, Joan Innes, says, “I believe the magic of TVM is due to its appeal to such a broad base of people, its extremely relevant message which speaks to the sexual empowerment of women, and its unabashed portrayals of the sexual complexity of women. The production blows open the closet where all these myriad aspects of women’s sexuality have been hidden away, and breathes a giant breath of fresh air over what is stifled and suppressed in our culture. We are all aware of the intense amount of abuse that is directed at women worldwide, but because the problem is so pervasive and intense, and its results so ugly and horrific, the tendency is to turn away from the suffering. We feel powerless in the face of such an abuse of power. As women, we have become stranded from the reality of our own pain, we have become detached from what so often attracts our exploitation: our sexuality. We have bought into a culture that says our sexuality is either a commodity, or something to be greatly feared, and is thus attacked. The beauty of TVM is that it refuses to comply with these limited, shrouded, and often hostile definitions of women’s sexuality. The play puts all of the magnificent and myriad complexities of the sexual woman on proud display, so that the taboos around our sexuality can be blown away, and so that we can all be reminded of our own authentic power.”
The show definitely is one of sexual power (inherently different from ‘sexy’ power) and of hope, of reclaiming the self back from a trail of abuse and loss of empowerment. But it is more than that as well; several of the newer monologues focus on the plight of women all over the world – from Iraq to Afghanistan under Taliban rule, to the missing women of Juarez, Mexico and the decimation of our North American native culture. At times laugh out loud funny, and at times poignant and heartbreaking, the Vagina Monologue experience has been one of many facets for me. In my regular day job, I work with a lot of new immigrants and I’m attuned to their stories of heartbreak and why they came to Canada to pursue a better life. This experience, for me, has been re-affirming and has also given me a new drive to fight harder and to be more active in ending the violence.
Amanda Grassick has found that being involved in TVM has been an enriching experience because of the acceptance of who she is as a gender queer individual, “I am excited, a little scared, and a little cocky because I know it’s going to kick ass! I also appreciate the fact that even though I identify as trans-gendered, and not as a woman, this opportunity was open to me and that I have been welcomed the way that I have. It hasn’t always been the case in feminist organizations that I was been involved with.”
The Vagina Monologues is part of a worldwide campaign to stop violence against women and children. This year, there are 1070 productions planned in 54 countries. This week, the cast and crew of TVM in Calgary viewed the V-Day video presentation, which highlighted some of the work done by V-Day around the world. From creating a safe house for young girls in Nairobi, cast out from their family homes for saying ‘no’ to the horrendous practice of female circumcision, to the change happening for the Lakota Indians of South Dakota after the show came to their reserve, to the ongoing fight for the Comfort Women of the Philippines (women sold into sexual slavery for Japanese soldiers during WWII). For more information on the V-day campaign, please visit www.vday.org.
Here in Calgary, funds raised by TVM project benefit the YWCA Safe Haven program, a cause near and dear to Marsha Meidow’s heart.
“I work with female youth (14-19 years old) who are either prostituting, or at risk. All of the money we raise goes to our program. I also do this play for them, to let them know they have warriors on their side who are willing to promote change so that their tomorrow may not be so scary. To let them know they are never alone, to validate their stories, to listen, to tell, and to fight this fight for, and alongside them.”
Please join us as we celebrate women, raise awareness and envision a world without violence.
A fundraiser for TVM will be held Friday, March 3rd at Brews Brothers Pub. The theme of the evening is “Femme Fatale Carnivale” and will feature music, magic, sexy drag kings and Kabuki Guns Burlesque! Please call (403) 605-6597 for more details.
From one Vagina Warrior to another: “I do not know you or your story. But in my eyes, you are already my sister. You have suffered too long. Use your voice… scream out loud if you have to! Let’s scare this damn silence away.”
The Vagina Monologues
March 28th and 29th, 2006 at 7:00pm
The University Theatre, University of Calgary
2500 University Drive NW.
Tickets available through Campus ticket centre:
(403) 220-7202
www.ucalgary.ca/tickets
If would like to have your business or non-profit group reviewed in an up coming issue of GayCalgary.com Magazine or have comment or suggestions of businesses to be reviewed, please contact us at (403) 543-6960 or E-mail us at reviews@gaycalgary.com.
Nico Hofferd lives with her wife and six fur kids in a community near you. She is here to inject some Feminine-ity to Gay Calgary magazine. (But not ’inject’ in the patriarchal sense - unless you ask her nicely.) You can email Nico at nicoh@gaycalgary.com.
