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Adult Film Review

Chainsaws, Bodies, Muscles and Heads

Adult Film Review - Male by Jerome Voltero (From GayCalgary® Magazine, August 2008, page 26)
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“Home Bodies” by Raging Stallion Studios, Courtesy of Priape
Cast: Damien Cross*, Roman Ragazzi*, Tristan Phoenix, Victor Steele, Scott Tanner, Marcos David, Trey Casteel, Nick Morino*
Raging Stallion Studios is known for their muscular and often hairy men, however for this film they brought out many of their not-so-hairy, lesser known porn stars; handsome bodies yes, handsome faces no. Some pornos use exotic settings as their selling point, but this one’s all about the couch with the Mexican blanket, and the bed with the faded blue sheets. As the title suggests, these guys are having sex in their homes…oh come on, like that hasn’t been done before!
The first two scenes feature some pretty run-of-the-mill guys. Victor Steele is a scrawny and scruffy Italian-looking guy who plays around with Scott Tanner, a very average ginger haired man. If you didn’t get enough of Steele in the first scene, he plays with the boyish Tristan Phoenix in the next.
Later on we start getting to the real meat. Marcos David is uncut and pretty well hung, with an awesome and nicely hairy body, but his face is in desperate need of a goatee or beard to balance out those sunken eyes and pouty fish-lips! Muscle men Trey Casteel and Nick Morino have a fairly hot scene together, jerking themselves off while looking at one another from across the room.
For me, the coup de gras was the final scene where we finally see the familiar face of Damien Cross, as he plays with the furry and well-built body of Roman Ragazzi. I’ve seen Damien smooth in other pornos, but for this one he has grown in his beard and body hair. He can be a very sexy otter when he wants to be.

“Chainsaw” by Titan Media, Courtesy of Priape
Cast: Tony Buff*, Dillon Buck*, Dean Flynn, Braxton Bond, Riley Burke, Ludovic Canot, Brandon Cole, Ken Mack, CJ Madison*, Bigg Pete, Sebastian Rivers*, Allen Silver
Tony Buff is cutting wood in the forest, and ranger Allen Silver comes by to see what’s happening. But as Buff finishes cutting a log, he decides to take a piss right from where he’s standing, and only notices the ranger in the bushes as he himself is in mid-stream. The two have an awkward stand-off, and comically Buff keeps pissing and pissing, and thanks to the magic of repeated footage, probably more than a human bladder can hold. Ranger Silver sees nothing wrong and takes a hike, apparently knowing not to ever challenge Buff to a pissing contest. Buff returns to wake up his co-worker Braxton Bond who is taking a nap during his lunch break.
As Bond awakens, he complains of how hot it is and decides that they should work naked. I’m sure that’s a brilliant idea while using chainsaws to chop up tree trunks, what could possibly go wrong? Luckily the two (presumed straight) men get distracted while slathering each other with bug repellant, and decide to “get a hedge party started.”
Later on, Ranger Silver thinks he is barging in on two (again presumed straight) guys having a three-way with a woman in their house. Oops, it’s actually the young Riley Burke and Brandon Cole beating off to straight porn on their laptop. To make matters worse, these are supposedly Ranger Silver’s sons! I don’t know what’s more awkward: that the sons don’t cover up with their dad in the room, that the dad starts talking about his own sex life, or that the boys challenge the father to join their “who can shoot the farthest” competition. After balking at Buff’s pissing display, Silver seems to like the odds against the two boys.
The next scene between CJ Madison and Sebastian Rivers is pretty damn hot! Remember, Chainsaw is a two-disc set with over four hours of porn footage, so there is a great deal left to keep you entertained.

“Head Hunters Inc.” by Hot House Video, Courtesy of Adult Depot
Cast: Tony Mecelli, Vinnie D’Angelo*, Ty Lebeouf*, Dillon Crow, Nick Moretti, Park Wiley*, Jackson Wild, Jack Bond, Ross Hurston*
Well, I can pretty well guess that the only thing they’re concerned with hunting is cock head, and getting head…and I’m sure they always get their man. Though contrary to my preconceptions, it’s not another bounty hunter movie but rather a business suit fetish flick.
There are some major league hotties in this film, and there’s nothing like the studly Ross Hurston and juicy Ty Lebeouf to get things heated up. Hurston makes a quick phone call home to his “wife” to not hold dinner for him, so that he can engage in some steamy businessman sex with Lebeouf, right on his office desk.
Later on, the rugged Vinnie D’Angelo shows up in Jack Bond’s office to replace the canister on his water cooler. Bond gets a bug up his butt that the water boy entered his office while he was on the phone with a client. D’Angelo thinks the wound-up man just needs some cock, and takes it upon himself to do something about it.
Park Wiley is desperate for a job, and doesn’t mind using his beautiful blue eyes and wolfish good looks to get his way. Tony Mecelli is working hard to find something for the man, but doesn’t mind accepting his generous show of appreciation. Wiley reaches into the man’s fly and pulls out the mother-load – Mr. Mecelli is very well endowed! Wiley is undaunted, and eager to please.
If you don’t like the big beefy men, delivery boy Dillon Crow might be more to your liking. He’s quite popular at the office (let’s call him the office wench) and appears in two different scenes – first with Nick Moretti and later with the young Jackson Wild. He wears some pretty sleek biking gear that the horny business men can’t seem to keep their hands off.

“Muscle Fuckers” by The French Connection, Courtesy of Adult Depot
Cast: Caio Barcellos, Marcos Paulo, Carlos Bazuca, Gabriel Lemos, Emanoel Mattos, Victor Andrade, Junior Pavanello*, Juan Pablo, Sylvio Arcanjo
Okay, so the DVD cover features the hairy, tattoed and well muscled Carlos Bazuca on the front - granted he doesn’t have a very attractive face. With a title like “Muscle Fuckers”, one might assume that most of the porn stars would have a similar build. I quickly discovered this is not necessarily the case.
Caio Barcellos and Marcos Paulo are messing around together in the first scene. Never mind the fact that they don’t have big builds, they barely look 18! Paulo has an impressively large and thick cock for his tiny frame, but it feels wrong for me to be watching this. Chicken hawks, eat your heart out, and don’t forget to watch for Emanoel Mattos in a later scene. He also looks barely legal, and plays around with the youthful Gabriel Lemos.
Scene four features the beefy Latino, Junior Pavanello - the only guy to my liking in this film. He may not have a hairy chest, but compared to the “Olsen twins” from the first scene, and not-so-pretty Carlos Bazuca from scene 2, I’d settle for Pavanello any day. He’s paired up with the wimpy Victor Andrade – David, meet Goliath. At least I can say the man is too skinny to obscure the hulking Pavanello from view.
So in my opinion, “Latino Fuckers” might have been a more accurate name for this film, as these men certainly don’t have muscles in common; in fact, the film features quite a range of body types. More importantly, their Spanish dirty talk is bound to be a turn on. But…oh my god, does Sylvio Arcanjo have a tattoo of one of the characters from the Disney cartoon “Gargoyles” on his shoulder?! There goes my childhood!

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(GC)



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