GayCalgary® Magazine [copy]

Adult Film Review

Berlin, Itch, Dudes and Holes

Adult Film Review - Male by Jerome Voltero (From GayCalgary® Magazine, May 2008, page 26)
“East Berlin” by Raging Stallion Studios, Courtesy of Priape
Cast: Marcos Melo*, Mack Magnus, Matteo, Patrick, Bijan*, Robert Brankov, Markus Müller, Amir, Axel Ryder*.
First I’ve got to say that the DVD cover is stunningly hot! Though we’re not able to show the whole thing here, Axel Ryder and Bijan are letting it all hang out and…wow! I grabbed this off the shelf within a second of seeing it – call it my porn reflex.
Sadly I didn’t get to the good stuff until the later scenes of the film. The sexy cover that grabbed my attention wasn’t very representative of the rest of the guys that were cast, most of whom I’d classify as college boys. Even so, not exactly many German looking guys, or even German sounding names.
Scene 1 has Amir being dom on cute middle-eastern pup Bijan in an abandoned basement. With a name like Amir you might expect another hot middle-eastern guy but he just looks like your average skinhead (with two devil-horn lumps on his forehead). Next up, college boys Robert Brankov and Patrick hook up after cruising one another in the park. But scene 3 piqued my interest again with the sexy Marcos Melo pounding a college boy bottom (Markus Müller) in a dungeon sling. Melo is uncut, though we don’t get to see terribly much of it out in the open.
Then, finally the scene I’ve been waiting for. I first took notice of Axel Ryder just last month, in “Out on the Farm”, and apparently I now can’t resist this bearded, bald-headed, furry-chested, muscular, well endowed and uncut hunk. Bijan has to use both hands to securely hold their combined circumference! Naturally the younger guy ends up bottoming for Ryder, bent over the counter in a German kitchen, and later moving onto his back on the coffee table.
It’s probably best you hang onto this memory, as the final scene that follows is yet another encounter in the dungeon with college guy Matteo and the greasy Mack Magnus. In my opinion a bit of a weak ending for the film, but you may disagree.
Oddly there was no music whatsoever during the scenes, no dialog, and little of your standard grunts, moans, or dirty talk. This left very little for the ears other than heavy breathing, lip smacking, and the thwap-thwap-thwap of rear-pounding. Though this choice made the sex scenes more true to real life, at the same time the silence can be deafening.
“Jock Itch” by Raging Stallion Studios, Courtesy of Priape
Cast: Logan McCree, Scott Tanner, RJ Danvers, Tyler Saint, Josh West*, Vic Rocco, Jake Deckard*.
Following the somewhat manic title music we see Jake Deckard changing in the locker room after a game. Two of his team mates, Tyler Saint and Scott Tanner, walk in and give him a hard time for supposedly throwing the game; as they explain, the “rules” state when someone throws a game, they get fucked. Well, rules are rules! Deckard puts up some token resistance before his two teammates bend him over the bench and go at him from both ends – one rimming him while the other pounds a stiff one down his throat. Like East Berlin there was again no music during this sex scene, but plenty of growling and moaning to fill the air.
After this extremely long scene, Deckard gets his lights punched out and experiences a surreal hallucination of muscular Tyler Saint stroking his meat, undressing from his football gear and spunking into his jock strap.
Meanwhile the very sexy Josh West is enjoying soaping himself up in the shower, and suddenly becomes aware of his younger teammate RJ Danvers watching him intently. The two engage in some idle conversation before Danvers throws himself at West. The man is more than happy to put the furry boy to good use. This scene is extremely hot, broken only by a brief interlude of nervous laughter, and a stray fart that both pretend not to notice. If there were a thought-balloon above Danvers’ head, it might read “Don’t blame me, Josh’s dick was in the way!”
In the final scene, Logan McCree and Vic Rocco face off in their football shoulder guards. McCree is the crazy tattoo guy from Inked, but appears in this film with a beard and a full head of hair to cover up some of the work on his normally shaven head. The two appear in the same room as Deckard’s fantasy of Tyler Saint, making me wonder if this was another of his horny dreams. We may never know…or actually care. It’s all here for a wank, it doesn’t have to make sense.

“Dude Suck My Dick 2” by Amateur Straight Guys, Courtesy of Adult Depot
I always appreciate a porno name that parodies another film in a clever way (in this case, “Dude Where’s My Car?”) but I feel a little let down when the joke stops there. Oh well, that’s life!
The film starts out with two “straight” guys working out in a weight room, joking around with the camera man and going through the typical homoerotic straight banter that drives gay men crazy. Our stars, Axel and Kasden are two hairless college guys with a few tattoos. The camera man suggests that it’s time for them to lose their pants and they oblige, joking around even more with the pole from the barbells, and tea-bagging one another as they spot on the bench press. This is enough to get the ball rolling, so to speak. They rim one another while doing leg curls, and use the military press as a throne for getting serviced.
In the next scene we have Chris and James, straight M to M virgin with a straight M to M pro, set up for some mutual J/O. Even with straight porn in the background, it takes Chris a long time to get comfortable, so in the mean time one of the camera men steps in (kinda hot actually) to assist James who is already aching for someone to play with him. Finally James goes down on Chris before the two finish themselves off. Chris shoots on James’ leg, while James does a long-shot across the room to everyone’s surprise and delight.
Scene four has David (nicknamed “Pitbull”) all by himself – a really handsome, beefy boy with a chinstrap beard, major tattoos, and a tiny sprinkling of chest hair. The camera men take turns undressing him and playing with his junk…lucky bastards.
If you like the selection of guys this far, the remaining scenes follow the same format: the guys get asked a few questions, get a chance to joke around and show off their straight male swagger before and after things get serious. I have to say I sort of prefer this approach to the often phony acting of the bigger-name porn stars. At least this way we get the illusion of some connection with the guys, beyond the sex.

“A Hole’s A Hole” by Amateur Straight Guys, Courtesy of Adult Depot
Well I have to give them some credit for trying to create a context for each scene. They start each one off with a little story told in scrolling text to explain why the straight guys are playing with one another…glaring spelling errors and everything.
But I can’t complain after seeing the first scene between Brock and David – even the camera man can’t resist getting involved. Brock is a beefy and stubbly bottom while David is a furry pup in a baseball cap, both with a number of tattoos. While Brock sucks on David, the camera man works on loosening Brock up a bit for David’s imminent entry. You can tell they have straight porn playing in the background but the guys don’t seem to pay much attention to it, they’re far more interested in each other. Even their post-climax banter is a lot of fun.
The next few scenes are between slightly younger and skinnier guys, though I can’t call them twinks because they have some body and facial hair. They weren’t quite my type, but will easily appeal to others as they are good looking.
In a later scene, self-proclaimed switch hitter Marcus appears on camera talking about a sex dream he had in anticipation of filming this scene, and how his girlfriend drove out with him for this. I didn’t realize that Scott was already working on Marcus orally until the camera panned down. Marcus is all smiles, and makes warm-hearted comments throughout the scene. He is beefy, tattooed, and extremely well endowed. When they get to anal play, Scott can’t hold his load for long. Not to be deterred Marcus flips the small furry guy onto his back and keeps going, finishing by giving Scott a facial.
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