GayCalgary® Magazine [copy]

Rough Trade Attraction

General Interest by Ivan (From GayCalgary® Magazine, October 2005, page 31)
In the world of gay dating some men are just happy to look for a masculine or straight looking guy. But many others want the real thing: a real straight guy. Straight guys it seems are more popular than ever in the gay community and successfully seducing one of them is a top challenge for many.

But why are gay men so obsessed by them? It is easy to understand. When a gay boy is looking for a straight guy, you have to remember that he’s actually looking for a kind of rough trade. The well-read and behaved straight man in his 40’s with his suit and tie is not a gay fantasy. No more than the sensitive caring straight guy. Actually the image gay men have of the straight fantasy is quite folkloric. Equally stereotypical is the gay man’s vision of sex with him. For whatever reason it is, most gay men just want to be on their knees in front of a straight guy. Go figure. That kind of fantasy will often include the arrogant looking straight guy drinking his beer and dreaming about pussies while the fag is taking care of his dick. Doesn’t that fantasy make you remember a certain Matthew Sheppeard and his two pickup truck driving gay -bashers and eventual murderers?

But the real reason for this attraction is essentially that rough trade are not too self aware. Gay men who are masters at self-awareness themselves find this totally different attitude very refreshing and quite sexy as well. Gay men are similar in that to young babes who are very much attracted to arrogant guys and male swagger playfulness. No wonder boy band followings often include some gay men among the crowd of screaming teenage girls. In the long run girls will fall for the sensitive guy. But in the short term or let’s say a one night stand they will often prefer to get fucked by an arrogant jerk oozing masculinity. The same is true for gay men who are attracted to straight guys. Straight men generally like to brag about having fucked a very good looking girl or marrying a trophy wife. The trophy boy for many gay men is the hot young swaggering straight jock or...high school dropout nude dancer.

This attraction also dates back to childhood. For many gay men their sexual orientation can be traced back to an unsuccessful male bounding in their youth. When they reach adulthood or their teenage years they start eroticizing the men they had difficulty being friends with earlier on.

No wonder that hip hop bad boy Eminem has so many gay fans, be they closet or not. The Detroit born rapper has been called a kind o new white trash prophet. Actually from the gay fan’s point of view he’s the erotically charged young straight male swagger incarnation. His lyrics about gays as well as about women have been controversial in the
past and often still are today....But we also know the role marketing is playing in those games. Moreover some big names have previously stated their admiration for him: Elton John for one, also Neil Tennant from the Pet Shop Boys. Even I totally agree with this. Eminem is clearly a talented guy. Watching some of his past videos, listening to the beat I can’t help thinking that he’s one of the most interesting people in pop culture in many years. And obviously the marketing people behind him are just as smart. Watching Eminem rapping in I just don’t give a... is like watching a blurring line between homophobia and one of the most popular politically incorrect gay fantasies. In pop culture today that is precisely what defines the largest cross-over appeal possible for a young straight male. The Red Hot Chilli Peppers have also somewhat played on the element before. And this is obviously what has allowed Eminem to pass from white trash to white hot.

As Camille Paglia once noted male swagger is erotic (just ask Britney Spears about Kevin Federline or any Playboy babe about Colin Farell). If chicks are clearly sensitive to that, gay men respond to it even more. And straight men at that game are much better at displaying it than gays. Go to any gay male dancer club and you will see that the ones being the most successful are almost always the ones playing on the youth male bravado and arrogance. They high five each other, drink, make bad jokes, play pool while older gay men watch and admire them carefully sipping their Perrier. And not surprisingly most of those dancers will be straight.


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