“The Porne Ultimatum” by Dirty Bird Pictures, Courtesy of Adult Depot
Cast: Kaden Saylor, Brant Moore, Brent Corigan, Mason Wyler, Kasey, Levi, Colin, Seth, Barrett Long.
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! It was only a matter of time before someone took advantage of this obvious perversion of the popular movie title – it’s just too good to resist. With a Matt Damon-esque main character, and a cast of young, smooth, athletic boys, this movie is sure to satisfy your taste for chicken.
The movie starts out with our hero “Jason Porne” bound and gagged in a dark room, getting gang-raped by a bunch of laughing goons. He manages to free himself and fight his way out, whereupon he leaps into the ocean to evade the onslaught of bullets from his captors. He washes up on a beach, where he is discovered by a young doctor that nurses him back to health. Though he has lost his memory, he still finds a way to show his gratitude…all over the doctor’s belly.
As Porne searches for clues about his identity, following a map that was on his person when he washed up, he is chased by two goons in a black Mercedes. He stumbles into the yard of a guy who is wanking beside his pool, and quickly throws off his clothes and goes down on the guy. The goons don’t recognize Porne and lose his trail.
The lucky pool guy is not willing to hand over his car keys, but offers to help Porne by driving him wherever he wants. They follow the black Mercedes to a mansion, where Porne’s new friend offers to distract the guard. He gets more than he bargains for – the guard has a monster 9 or 10 incher with low hanging balls, that made even my jaw drop!
Will our hero find out his identity, or will we have the pleasure of a sequel? Rent it, and find out for yourself!
“Fetish Force: Sounding 1” by Raging Stallion Studios, Courtesy of Adult Depot
Cast: Anthony Drago, Derek da Silva*, Tony Bishop, Derrick Hanson*.
If the brief bout of sounding a few months ago did something for you, then here is a whole movie dedicated to the fetish! The concept can sound pretty bizarre if you have not heard of it before. With so many stories about how uncomfortable it is to have a catheter inserted, or a penis swab done, it can be difficult to imagine how inserting a metal rod into your urethra could be pleasurable. Then again, the good old prostate exam is pretty uncomfortable too, and it’s not much different from getting fingered. I guess it really depends on your mood. However, if you get squeamish about anything requiring rubber gloves then perhaps you ought to skip to the next review.
The first scene takes place in a dungeon, where Derek da Silva lies passively and on his back, and Anthony Drago controls the implements. It’s apparent that Drago is the resident expert at the kink, but also subjects Da Silva to a helping of (ouch!) cock and ball torture - slapping and squeezing. Eeeyikes, definitely not for those with a weak stomach, and frankly it makes the sounding look like a walk in the park.
The second scene has Tony Bishop introducing Derrick Hanson to the idea, and Hanson seems just as skeptical as any newbie might be. After watching his friend do it for a while, Hanson gets brave and tries it out. This scene feels like an erotic instructional video: You too can experience the joys of sounding! Just look at all the fun possibilities! With rods down their shafts, they knock the exposed metal together, and the mind-blower comes later on when they share opposite ends of the same rod.
Not to kill the mood, but from a safety standpoint I recommend doing your research if you decide to actually try this yourself. It strikes me that there’s a possibility of hurting yourself if you’re not careful, or giving yourself a bladder infection if the implements aren’t properly sterilized. Nevertheless, I’m told that all the trouble is worthwhile for the feeling of your cock getting stroked from the inside. Hmmm…I’ll have to reserve judgment to the time if and when I summon the bravery to try it myself.
“Jock Itch 2: Balls to the Wall” by Raging Stallion Studios, Courtesy of Priape
Cast: Aitor Crash, Damian Rios*, Jon Mathews, Steve Cruz*, Cory Koons*, Tober Brandt*, Dominic Sol, Jake Deckard*.
Now this is more like it! If the first Jock Itch left you panting, this sequel will do the same. Once again the bodies range from athletic otter to muscle-bear, with a dollop of tattoos; some actors are all new, and others are back for more.
In the first scene, two baseball jocks sit on opposite ends of the bench in an indoor batting cage. Comically they both drop everything at the exact same moment, rushing together like magnets. Dominic Sol is wearing an interesting pair of pants that unzip along the butt crack. After Cory Koons rims him, he picks up a bat to give Sol a light spanking. Koons shows off his furry belly and body tattoos when his shirt is lifted, but we only find out that Sol has breathtaking angel wings tattooed on his back once his shirt hits the floor.
My personal favorite scene comes later on, as two masked men engage in a brutal cage fight. They start off by keeping their distance, but as the combat leads them to more body contact, their dirty instincts take over. When the masks come off, we see that the beefy gorilla is Tober Brandt, and the thinner one is Cory Koons back for another scene. At first Koons lavishes the bigger man with attention, making him burst into laughter at several points – is the big man ticklish? Soon Brandt returns the favor and ploughs Koons into the mat.
There no delicate way to put it – buy this DVD if you enjoy sex rough and manly.
“Cruisin’ Grounds” by Mustang Studios, Courtesy of Priape
Cast: Eddie Diaz, Chad Hunt, Matt Majors, Cole Ryder*, Ken Mack, Dominic Sol, Bo Matthews, Jessie Balboa, Justin Jameson, Aron Ridge.
Okay, so the DVD cover feIt’s summer and all of the horny young guys are coming out of the woodwork to play with one another. In this film, smooth tattooed bodies are the norm, except for the token bear Cole Ryder.
“Cruisin’ Grounds” is a bit of a misnomer because there isn’t a lot of cruising going on…except for in the first scene where Chad Hunt watches the hot black pool boy Eddie Diaz through the blinds of his motel room. Diaz is onto him however, and strips off his bathing suit as he runs across the courtyard and barges in to Hunt’s room - a nice piece of afternoon delight!
The DVD cover guy, Dominic Sol, appears in a later scene for some bondage, as Matt Majors has him tied to a chain spider web. After some foreplay, Majors receives a dildo on delivery, which he uses to loosen the boy up.
My fave, of course, was the steamy nighttime hot tub scene with Jessie Balboa and hairy bear Cole Ryder. After playing for a while on the edge of the pool, Ryder decides to try ducking his head under water as he pleasures his companion. A unique tactic, albeit short lived.
Other scenes included daytime swimming pool sex, and an interesting romp in the shower with a douching nozzle. By interesting I mean a little gross, as they show Bo Matthews squirting the water back out. The good news – he apparently douched before the scene.
So let’s summarize: well built guys, smooth or trimmed, with tattoos, on a beautiful tropical backdrop if not dropped on their backs indoors or at the poolside. Perhaps it’s a nice reflection of that holiday you just came back from…or not.
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